Borderlands of Sanity

Farewell blogger. It was fun while it lasted.

2011-09-26T12:26:00.000+01:00

This is goodbye. No, don't try to stop me. I have to do this. It would be easier if you didn't say anything. The fact is, it's over. I'm leaving you. The truth? You want the truth? Okay, but the truth hurts. The truth is... I've met someone else. His name's tumblr and he gives me things you just can't give to me. No, don't cry. This was never meant to be. You'll meet someone else, who has more time to write proper posts and isn't as fickle. Believe me this is the best way. Farewell, blogger my love. I never wanted it to end like this.

(Yeah, I've moved to tumblr. Sooo, if anyone still cares about this, which is unlikely, I'll be there. Talking to more invisible people- http://borderlandsofsanity.tumblr.com/)

Excuses and info

2010-07-17T13:43:00.000+01:00

The fictional people who read this blog may have noticed that I haven't posted any of my drawings thus far. I would say that it's because my scanner's broken or something like that, but that would be a lie. It's because I'm lazy. The scanner is all the way down stairs in my borthers room and as of yet I haven't found the energy to bring it upstairs. Yes, I'm probably the laziest person on earth. But I've also been quite busy over the past week; it seems as soon as I decided to join the indieVISUAL ranks then a bunch of old friends and aquaintences popped up and I was going out every evening. So apart from being lazy I only just managed to find the time to do the drawing let alone scan them using my impossibly slow and old scanner and upload them onto the blog, and possibly write a little post to go with them. I'll try and get that done later today, as I won't have time in the next few days, which brings me nicely onto my next point.

I'm going to England in a few days and even though I'm taking my sketchbook and I'll try to carry on with my drawings, I won't be able to upload till I come back. I might still do some post from England as most of the various people I'm staying with have computers.

Since I'm pretty sure that nobody reads this blog (even though I have two followers) it feels kind of wierd writing as though I'm talking to someone. But I figure if noone's reading this then no harm done and if someone is reading it them I'm talking to you.

A new direction

2010-07-05T14:49:00.000+01:00

So it's been rougly two months since I've posted anything on here, and whilst most of that hiatus was due to my all important ICGSE exams (which are now over and don't have to think about them until August 24th, when I get my results), it was also dure to my lack of inspiration and ideas. For a while now I've been running low on things to post about and today I decided to start up blogging once more, even if it's not anything to big. And in order to get round the blogger's block I've been having I decided to start the indieVISUAL Journal Challenge and I might even do the Sum Up My Summer challenge, even though I've missed the start by a month (info on that can be found on the same page).

So yeah, this is what I'm gonna do. Draw once a day, every day for an entire year, from July 5th 2010 to July 5th 2011. Pretty daunting.

Right, singing off now cos I have some things to do. My first entry will be up later.

Two very long journeys...

2010-05-21T20:06:00.000+01:00

Well, would you look at that! It's Friday and I'm making a blog post! I never thought I would ever be early. I know I haven't posted anything in a while but that's down to the exams I've been doing in the last two weeks. The depressing part is I've only done five exams and I've still got so many to do!

To tell the truth I haven't been motivated to write anything for a while now, even before the exams, but today I was reading The Couch Preacher (he's awesome, go check him out. I think I've said this twice already, but it bears saying one more time) and I got inspired to write about some video games, two video games in particular. So here are two of my favourite games. Enjoy.

Morrowind

I think I've probably mentioned before how much I love Morrowind, but what the hell, I'll say it again. I love Morrowind. Yes, there are problems with it; the combat system is, frankly, rather crap and the dialogue system means reading through swathes of text, which can get a little tedious (although at least it rules out crappy voice acting, *cough* Oblvion *cough*). The graphics certainly aren't what you would call cutting-edge, though considering the game was released in 2002 it's churlish of me to complain about that aspect (and a small dosage of graphics mods, if you're using the PC version, would soon clear up that alement). But all in all, I found it a very enjoyable game (I guess it would be important, for the sake of fairness, to point out that Morrowind was the game that really got me into gaming as a whole and so a certain amount of nostalgia comes with it.)

I found the storyline interesting and compelling and although the characters did come across as a little generic sometimes I always managed to find a personaltiy, though that could be down to my overactive imagination. I guess, considering that I haven't played the game is quite a while, this is more based on my fond memories but I never said that this was a review, it's only the reasons why I like the game.

What always astonishes me most about is the amount of backstory you find if you dig deep enough. Recently I've been feeling bad that there are so many books and papers adn information in the game and I never really read anything that wasn't directly necessary.

Anyway, I don't want thig to get too long, because I have to talk about my other game as well, so I'll just sum up by saying, once again, that I love Morrowind.

The Longest Journey

Now, at first I wasn't convinced by this. Sure it looked interesting enough but point-and-click didn't really do it for me (Monkey Island being excluded from that, obviously). How could I have been so wrong?

TLJ is a masterpiece. Seriously. If you haven't played this game then play it (unless of course you have to have guns and explosions to keep you interested for more than five minutes then don't bother, you'll hate it). The characters are wonderful, the story is amazing and the humour is, well, humourous. I guarantee that you'll laugh at least once whlilst playing it (especially once you meet a certain Burns Flipper, but I won't give too much away). If you do only laugh once (or not at all) then you've probably got something wrong with your sense of humour (but who am I to judge).

It's hard to talk about this game without giving anything away, because I certainly don't want to ruin it for anyone. It can get difficult at times and I got a little frustrated at points (though it was generally down to me being dense) but from what I found there's nothing so difficult that it ruins the experience. It's kind of a trait of point-and-click games that there are some wierd solutions to puzzles, you've just got to think outside the box at some points.

The dialogue is brilliant, there are definately some memoriable quotes in there, and the voice acting is really well done. To tell the truth, there's not much I can say against his game.

Here's the trailer if you want ot see it: ftp://ftp.funcom.com/media/tlj/tlj_360x288_hq_en.mov

So, just go check it out. Adn it you do want to play it here's some advice; pick up and interact with anything possible, because you never know what you might need.

So, bye for now. Hope you have a good weekend.

I really must stop using to many brackets...

A little update

2010-04-25T20:57:00.000+01:00

I light of the exams that are looming in my near future, I have to admit that finding something to talk about, and finding the time to talk about it, if getting much harder (thus the reasn for the lack of post last week). So I've decided that until my exams are over, near the end of June, I'm not going to bother trying to stick to my schedule. If I find something to write about and I want to write about it, I will, but if Saturday rolls around (as it has done this week and last week) and I find myself lacking the inspiration, time or motivating I'll just leave it.

That's basically it for today, so I may or may not be back next week.

Working, Resting, Playing, Procrastinating

2010-04-10T23:25:00.001+01:00

So it's Saturday once again, and normally I would be plesed because Saturday's are awesome (especially since Doctor Who started again, and it was awesome today) but this Saturday marks the pending end of my holidays. Yes, I have to go back to school on Monday, and that means only three weeks left until my GCSE exams. The thought is terrifying and I don't want to think about it much.

Before I forget I would like to mention something that has given me great pleasure. If you were reading my blog back in December when I was doing the challenge you may recall me telling you about The Couch Preacher but also saying that he was on hiatus, indefinately. Well, he's back! Which is pretty awesome, because he's a great blogger if you like video games. So go check him out, and if you like him leave him a few comments as I'm the only person whose ever commented on his blog and I believe his lack of comments is partly the reason he left in the first place.

So, as I'm currently stumped for interesting ideas I've decided to share with you my Art project, that will end in a 10 hour exam. Bliss. (So much for not thinking about exams).

Our title is Work, Rest, Play. Not the best title they could have given us but not bad considering the circumstances. Exam boards have never been the best at coming up with stimulating stimuli (you should see our Drama ones, though we a did a pretty good job with those I must say). Anyway, after a lot of faffing about and wasting time and complaining that I didn't have any ideas I finally struck upon one. Unlike others in my class, who seem to come up with things gradually, I generally get a picture in my head of what I want it to look like and say, 'I'm doing that' without any build up. It's rare that the final product actually looks like the picture in my head but it's a good starting point.

My sudden idea for this was as follows: instead of doing something that encompassed Work, Rest and Play (or one of the three elements) I would create three characters that were the embodiment of each concept. I got rather excited when I got this idea as I thought it rather interesting, but I then realised I would have to come up with the characters.

I've got Work so far, and I'm already contemplating Rest and Play. Work came about as I was doing an intial 'ideas' page on it, where I just collected images that I thought related to it. Most of them were of manual labour, as that is what springs to my mind immediatly, but I did put in a few of clockwork. It was then that I got the idea of Steampunk. Now, explaining the concept of Steampunk to my art teacher, who, being Portuguese, had no idea what the hell I was going on about, was rather complicated, but she trusted me not to mess everything up. So after a few pages of required research, looking at a few artists (namely Naum Gabo and Rebbeca Horn, the former doing awesome sculptures and the latter doing freaky body modification among other things) I started designing my character. I decided upon a human who had been turned Steampunk, if you will, for various reasons that sound very arty and sophisticated (but mainly because it looks awesome). But anyway, here's what I came up with (which I'm pretty proud of). It's not complete yet, but it's basically almost there:

(I apologise for the crappy photograph and the absolutely diabolical lighting. The paper is actually white)

Anyway, I know I'm far from the best drawer in the world but I quite like my Work character. What do you guys think? Is there anything I could chage, improve ect? I'm thinking of putting some designs on the head and shoulders, nothing major, just to add intricacy.

So, good night for now (unless you not in a place where it's night, and if so good day).

Embracing Darkness

2010-04-04T18:12:00.002+01:00

Second story. Oh and Happy Easter, may your day be sunny and chocolate-filled!

Oh, should have mentioned this when I first posted it. This is technically a piece of FanFiction for TES III: Morrowind (written after playing said game and in a particularly geeky moment) but you don't actually have to have played to game or have to know anything about it to understad this as I have only mentioned elements from the game twice, and they're not that important.

The pain was unbelievable.

I had never imagined anything could hurt such as this hurt, anything could tear into my soul as well as my flesh. I felt his fangs in my neck, the blood rushing from my body, the strange movements of his mouth as he swallowed, again and again. My blood, my life force. That was the worst part of all. The pain I could bear, my soul I could ignore but my blood, my pure, vital blood. As it slipped away from me I felt something that could never be described. Something no one should ever feel.

My heart weakened and I could feel every beat as though it were a great earthquake within my chest. Slower, slower until it was so faint that I almost missed the beats when they came. Just take me, I thought, pleading with him in my mind because I knew my mouth could not, would not respond. Take me and be done! Kill me, let me rest. Let it stop…

I had never given much thought on how I would die. Least of all, I had never thought I would want to die. But now as I lay in his cold arms, my fragile body broken from a fight I knew I couldn’t win I longed for death to come if only to stop the pain, the loss, the pure anguish.

No!

I felt his lips leave my skin; his fangs withdraw from my flesh. I wanted to cry out, to scream at him. Why wouldn’t he kill me? Why, when I needed it so much? But then I felt myself slip into darkness, fall willingly into the clutches of eternal rest…

But something was wrong, terribly, horribly wrong. It was not darkness; it was light, blinding light! It burned at my skin, my eyes; it tore at my punctured heart and my ripped soul. I could not bear it! This was worse than anything I had ever felt, worse than my life force being drawn out of me, worse than the cool prospect of death.

The light seemed eternal, I writhed within in for what felt like years, decades. I curled myself into a ball, I clawed at my face, my eyes, I shrieked and shrieked but it would not go. Finally I closed my eyes against the onslaught, huddling in a corner of my mind, trying to ignore that throb of my aching body and the burning of the terrible light. After a million years I awoke.

I was alone and this made me nervous. Where was he? Was he playing with me? What was he going to do? My wounds seemed less painful, and when I raised a shaking hand to my neck I found they had gone altogether. I frowned. Had he healed me? Was he keeping me as some slave for his hunger?

I had to get out and that was my only chance. I stood shakily, looking around. The room was exactly as it had been before; elegant furnishings and large bookcases filling the walls and floor space. At the far end was a huge oak door, half ajar, and beyond that was a dimly lit corridor. I remembered creeping slowly down that corridor the night before. Had it been the night before? How long had I been asleep?

But that was of no consequence, I just had to get out. I moved towards the door, half expecting it to open fully with him standing on the other side, his fangs ready to sink once more into my flesh. But he did not come. I crept down the corridor, barely making a sound.

Before I knew it I was out, standing in the cool night air. Free of the crowding darkness of his home, free of the stench of blood. I did not hesitate. I began to run, my feet propelling me forward, not caring in which direction they took me. I just had to get away from the darkness of the house I had just left. I ran for hours, only stopping to catch my breath before I continued, thighs burning, lungs searing, blood repeatedly making its way up my throat only to be spat out.

As dawn broke I found a town. I did not know which one it was and I did not care. All I wanted to do was get inside, to curl up and forget what had happened. The sun rose quickly over the hills. It was hotter that it should have been. It was only early spring, so why was the sun so burning? Why did it sear at my pale skin, boring into my eyeballs.

I stumbled into the town, clawing at my arms in an attempt to rid myself of the sun’s torment. Eyes watched me, people muttered, once a man even approached. “Are you alright, Sera?” he asked, his red eyes full of concern. I simply reeled away from him, escaping into the darkness of an alleyway, thankfully devoid of sunlight.

I sank to the ground, pressing myself to the wall at the back of the alley. Drawing my knees up to my chin, I buried my face in the hollow they created, protecting myself from the onslaught of the world- what was happening to me? My insides felt like they were burning up, twisting and writhing as if a thousand snakes had somehow crawled inside them.

I stayed in that alley throughout the day only moving when midday came and the sun permeated my space of darkness, but then I only moved further into the corner, trying to stay as far away from the sun as possible. I could feel its heat just inches from me and it made the snakes inside my rear up in fear.

When darkness came I ventured out, my throat burning. I found a fountain and drank deeply, trying to quench my thirst. But for some reason the fire in my throat would not completely die. There was something else I need, though what I did not know. I drank deeper, more and more water until I could not stop it from forcing itself back up my throat and spattering across the cobblestones. I fled, returning to my alley where I curled up and willed for sleep to come.

Eventually it did. I slept for a very long time, waking just in time to see the sun setting over the hills. It was beautiful. Some otherworldly power took control of me, guiding me to my feet and out of my protective cocoon, out into the open where I watched as the last rays of light disappeared behind the hills, sending wonderful colours shooting into the sky. It was the perfect finale.

If I had only known then that for me the curtain would never rise once more.

I stood for a long time in the darkness, remembering all the sunsets I had ever watched. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, though why I did not know. Why should a sunset make me feel sad? Then it happened, the first bolt of pain jolting through my stomach. The snakes were biting me, again and again. I cried out, doubling over in agony. Blackness started to creep into the corners of my vision. I had to run, and I knew exactly where I had to go. It was the last place I thought I would ever go again.

“So you have returned to me,” he said, emerging through the large double doors of his home, the moonlight reflecting off his perfect hair. I said nothing because it that moment the blackness that had threatened me during my journey won the battle and I collapsed, registering vaguely that he caught me before I hit the ground.

My eyes flickered open and there he was, standing above me. “You finally awake. Three days can feel light an eternity in the light can it not? I should know.”

His features, fine boned and horribly beautiful, were blank. There was no anger, or joy, no expression at all. But it was not the face I had seen before. This face was different. It was sharper, more focused. I could see a tiny scar on his forehead that I had noticed previously, even when I had watched him from the darkness.

The air seemed warmer around me, even though I recalled it had been deadly cold before. I wondered why. Then I realised. I lifted a hand to my mouth and felt tentatively at my teeth. My hand shot back my heart raced faster, faster. Fear boiled within me and I felt myself shaking worse than ever. A small smile crossed his lips at my reaction.

I was a vampire, a night-stalker, doomed to walk the shadows for eternity, doomed to long for the blood of others… Blood…

As soon as that thought entered my mind it would not leave it, consuming everything I had been thinking before.

Blood, rich, dark, red, blood.

I felt saliva fill my mouth and I swallowed, my stomach twisting with hunger. He held a hand out towards me but I ignored him, springing to my feet with such agility I almost stumbled.

“Go,” he whispered and I was gone.

I raced through the night, faster than I could have ever believed. I tore out of the dreadful tomb, sprinting wildly through the Ashlands. I let my senses guide me, not even blinking my bloodshot, white eyes as animals that would have once attacked me fled at the sight of the creature I had become.

One didn’t flee and I lunged at it, vaguely registering that is was a nixhound. But its skin was tough and its blood sour. It was not what I wanted and I flung it from me, killing it with a single swipe of my delicate female hand. I ran on, chasing down the scent drifting on the almost nonexistent breeze.

Then I found him, a young Breton crouched by a campfire. My vision homed in on him, nothing else existed save for that gentle pulse below his jaw. He looked up as I moved into the firelight.

“Sera?” he asked, a tremor of fear in his voice.

I pounced. He didn’t even have time to flinch as my teeth sank easily into his soft flesh. The blood poured into my mouth. Sweet, pure, innocent. The most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. It was laced with his magic, almost like seasoning. This was what I was made for. All those dreams I had, all those plans disappeared as I tasted his warm, beautiful blood. This was what I was meant to do.

As the tangy, copper liquid flowed easily down my throat I closed my eyes, embracing the darkness of my soul.

Unremarkable

2010-04-04T18:07:00.000+01:00

Before I begin I want to apologise firstly for my lack of post last week and the lateness of this weeks post. Last week I don't have an excuse for, I just never really got any ideas on what I wanted to write about. This week I was at my friend's house yesterday and so I couldn't post until today. So to make amends I'm doing two posts today (making up for last week's). Both of them are stories I wrote a while back and are longer than what I usually write on this (which so far have been spur of the moment things written at midnight). I have already uploaded both of them onto a website I was usuing a while back which has now, unfortunately, been forgotten. It wasn't very interesting in the first place, I think for now I'm more suited to a blog than a whole website. This first one is actually my English Crative Writing coursework. It ends on a cliffhanger, but it's meant to and I don't really intend on carrying on with it. Anyway, enough of me yapping, here's the story (aptly titled Unremarkable):

The room could only be described as quite unremarkable.

A large armchair sat in the corner by the fireplace, one side of the cushion ripped open by a now long absent cat and foam spilling out of the hole like congealed yellow blood. Small pieces had flaked off and now lay motionless on the rug where they had fallen. There was still ash in the dead fireplace, now cold and grey, and an empty coffee cup still balanced on the arm of the chair, the last dregs of the drink lying like brown clay at the bottom. There was a low coffee table in the centre of the room, its wood stained by the many mugs that had sat on it. Last week's newspaper lay forgotten on the edge, half of it hanging over the side, threatening to fall. 'FLOOD'S STRIKE AGAIN!' were the words emblazoned across the front, the heading for an article about yet another bout of floods that had hit Britain. A small bookcase lent up against the wall facing the fireplace, crammed full with books that looked as though they were about to fall apart. Most either lacked a title, or it had been rubbed off over the years. Those titles that were still legible were mostly in Latin.

The room was otherwise unfurnished, but due to its ridiculously small size to add any more furniture would have been impossible. On the wall to the left of the bookcase was a small door, its ceramic handle chipped on the edge and its wood spattered with many holes from woodworm. Directly opposite the door was a small window with glass so smudged and dirty, it was almost impossible to see through. It looked as though it hadn't been opened in years and there was a small circular hole through the centre, like someone had thrown a stone through it. The only light in the room came from a single candle on the coffee table which had all but burnt out. A naked bulb hung limply from the ceiling, forgotten with the unpaid electricity bills.

To a normal person this room, like I have already said, would seem quite unremarkable. The man that stood in front of the door, however, was no normal person. Jake Johnson was the best detective England had to offer. He was a tall man in his mid forties who was well known to be taciturn and unsociable. He was rarely seen outside his London flat on anything other than business which was why his presence in that unremarkable room was so unusual. For the first time in years, Jake had decided to visit his brother. His brother who was now lying sprawled across the floor between the bookcase and coffee table, a single gunshot wound in the exact centre of his forehead.

Jake moved slowly into the room, careful not to touch anything as he did so. He stood looking down at the motionless body of his baby brother whose eyes were wide and staring, his features, so similar to his brother's, possessing a look of complete terror that sent shivers down Jake's spine. The gunshot wound was precisely in the centre of his head, red and gaping. Whoever pulled the trigger had very good aim. Terrifyingly good. A pool of blood cradled his head, matting in his hair, staining his pale white skin. Jake felt a cold sweat break out over his face and he balled his hands into fists in a vain effort to keep them from shaking. He hadn't even liked his brother, he didn't like anybody, but now, as he looked down at his childhood companion, the only remnant of his family, lying there dead on the floor, he felt completely and utterly alone.

* * *

Thomas Brown walked quickly down the cold street, his footsteps echoing off the wet walls and his breath coming out in a cloud before him. He always felt like this after a job and again he wondered why he still did it. He liked to tell himself that it was because of the money for to consider a deeper motive was too terrifying. The payment had been cash, like always and, like always with the Brotherhood, it had been a nerve racking experience. The Brotherhood never gave any names and Thomas never saw any faces. He would wait in the designated area, always somewhere ridiculously conspicuous, this time it had been a park in the city centre of all places, then the car would pull up, never noticeable, never the same. Then they would step out and they would be completely noticeable. They always wore long cloaks with large hoods that covered half their faces. They looked like medieval monks for god's sake! But no one ever bat an eyelid. There was rarely anyone around but if there was they just looked the other way. Tomas knew it was a stupid thought but sometimes it seemed that they couldn't even see the hooded figures holding the briefcase full of cash.

This job had been a strange one. The mark was not the usual Brotherhood suspect but more of a hermit really. He had lived in a tiny flat in what could only be described as the slums of the city. Most of the houses round there were abandoned and Thomas knew that if you lived there, like he had a few years back before the Brotherhood contacted him and business had been slow, you spent as much time as possible outside the vile place. This man however, a one Michael Johnson, never so much as put a foot outside his front door. The shot had been easy; he had even been facing Thomas, just staring out the window. Thomas was surprised he hadn’t noticed him. At first he had sworn and cursed, trying to hide himself, but Michael had just stood there, staring directly at him. Almost as if he couldn't see him.

The bullet had hit directly in the centre of his head, a shot in a million and one to be proud of, if you were the sort of person that was proud about those things, which, strangely considering his job choice, Thomas was not. Michael had dropped without so much as a gasp, just falling to the floor. Thomas briefly wondered why the Brotherhood had been threatened by such a man but it was not his job to ask questions and he was too scared by his employers even to keep on wondering.

Thomas shook his head as he came to the end of the street. He put down the briefcase and fished in his pocket for his key, unlocking the many bolts and locks on his front door. The security system had been installed in a bout of paranoia the day after he had been contacted by the Brotherhood. It was ridiculous, he knew, five chunky unbreakable locks wouldn't keep the Brotherhood out if they ever wanted to silence him. Thomas knew that one day they would come for him, but he didn't like to think about that.

Picking up the briefcase he slipped quickly inside locking the door again behind him. He sighed a stood for a second, breathing in the comforting smell of home. He shrugged off his coat and carried the briefcase down the basement stairs and through another multi-locked door. He carefully stashed the money in the high security safe hidden behind a panel that, when closed, blended almost perfectly with the concrete wall. He made his way back upstairs, locking and re-locking the doors behind him. In his line of work he knew that you could never be too careful, especially when working for the Brotherhood.

He sighed again as he slumped onto his leather sofa in the small living room of his two story house. It was not a big house, not big at all. Somehow Thomas didn’t really find the idea of living alone in a big house very appealing. Much better to live alone in a small house because then you can console yourself with the fact that there would be no space for anyone else anyway. In any case, to buy a big house in somewhere like Chelsea wouldn’t be very good for invisibility and it was vital to be invisible when you killed for a living.

But big house or not Thomas knew that one day he would get a knock on his door and it would not be a visitor he would like to invite in for tea. Just then, there was a sharp rap on his front door and Thomas almost jumped out of his skin.

* * *

Jake rapped again on the door, shivering slightly in the cold midnight air. He pulled his coat closer around him and raised his hand to knock once more. Before he could there was the sound of many locks clicking out of place and the door opened on its chain. The small man frowned at his with confused and suspicious eyes.

“Yes?” he asked sharply. Jake held up his ID.

“Jake Johnson, private detective. I would like to ask you a few questions please,” he said in a monotone voice, noting with interest the way that the man’s eyes widened briefly in fear as they flicked from Jake’s face to his badge. Then the door closed and there was the sound of a chain being noisily removed by shaking hands. Clearly this man knew exactly why there was a famous private detective standing on his doorstep, or at least he thought he knew. The door opened once more and Jake stepped through looking around carefully as the man closed and locked the door behind him. He did not see this action as a threat as it was obvious that the paranoid little man was in the habit of locking the door every time it closed.

“Would you like anything to drink?” the man asked timidly after directing Jake into the small living room.

“You are Thomas Brown, correct?” he asked, ignoring the question. Thomas nodded, nervously. “Good. Please sit down, this may take a while.” Thomas swallowed and sat quickly, his hands shaking, Jake sitting next to him, infinitely more composed, at least on the outside. On the inside he was reeling with anger at the nerve of this guy. Somehow his blatant fear of Jake made his all the more despicable.

“What do you want to know?” Thomas asked, trying to put on an expression of innocent confusion. Trying and failing. He was usually a brilliant actor, but this was Jake Johnson, the best detective England had had in the last fifty years. Thomas only hoped that it was simply a coincidence that his second name matched that of the man who had died only hours earlier.

“I want to know who it was who paid you to kill Michael Johnson.” Thomas let out a sound that was halfway between a squeak and gasp.

“What are you going to do to me?” he croaked. Jake just smiled. Thomas took a deep breath, closed his eyes and made a decision. On one hand there was the option of refusing to tell and being prosecuted for obstruction or something on top of murder or on the other hand there was telling and being prosecuted for murder but watching the Brotherhood go down as well. The decision was easy and Thomas opened his mouth, all fear and respect for his employers gone. If he was going down, so was the Brotherhood.

But before a single word left his lips there was a deafening crash as the door and the locks broke as easily as they were made of paper and four cloaked figures burst through the living room door.

Thomas Brown and Jake Johnson suddenly found themselves each staring down the barrel of a gun, cocked and ready to fire.

A blogger's life

2010-03-20T23:56:00.000Z

It's almost midnight, eleven thirty-two. Those small, white numbers in the bottom right hand corner of your screen tell you you've been awake for just over twelve hours. It's a Saturday. Everyone else is out having fun and you're at home, in front of your laptop, once again trying to come up with something interesting to say to the two people who follow your blog.

Yesterday's Chinese take-out for dinner; you're living on left overs today. Soon it'll be Sunday, and then Monday and before you know it another week's gone. Seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds. Nothing changes. Next week you'll still be living the same life, doing the same things, worrying the same worries. Somewhere down the line you got yourself a routine and now you can't break it, no matter how much you want to.

Maybe you'll take a holiday, go somewhere nice with sea and sand. But in the end all that'll happen in you spend your time on a crouded beanch, get sun burnt and come back more miserable than when you left. So why not skiing; mountains, snow, fresh air and excercise. But you've never been a very good skiier and you'll end up breaking a leg and then where will you be? In some mountain hospital, unable to walk and surrounded by people who don't speak your language. Nice holiday. So you'll stay here. Take a break and maybe do some gardening. The flowers are getting over grown and the blossom's blooming.

You hate spring. It's so happy and chirpy and everyone goes around with stupid smiles because the winter's almost over. But you admit that it's not really spring you hate, but what comes after. Because, after all, spring is just the segway. Soon it'll be summer and that means longer days and festering heat.

You can't stand the sun. Other people love it, they drink it up and they make their way to the beaches or go for bracing walks in the hills. But heat to you is like a blanket that you can't throw off; it smothers and suffocates and there's no way to escape it. At least in the winter you can put on more clothes and then you'll be warm but in the summer no matter how much you take off the heat will always be there.

But what does it matter anyway. Nobody listens to you anymore. You've been doing the same thing for so long that you're just anther part of the scenery; a prop to be taken for granted. If one day you dissapeared you could count on the fact that they'd only notice a week later when you're in-tray started over flowing. And even then they'd just replace you with a younger, more eager model. That's why you started the blog in the first place, but what good did it do? You barely write in it and when you do it's just to complain. You're surprised you even have two followers. You're starting to think they may be spam bots.

It's six minutes to midnight now and you still haven't written anything. You decide to give up. Maybe tomorrow will bring inspiration. But then again, Sunday's were never that inspiring.

I'm a sucker for fast cars

2010-03-14T19:11:00.000Z

Yes, I know, I know, it's Sunday. I'm a day late. I really have no excuse. It's not that I forgot yesterday it's just that I couldn't be bothered/didn't know what to write about. Today I have done a grand total of... nothing. Well, homework wise that is. I did go to the gym and then to the Paula Rego exhibition so maybe it wasn't such an unproductive day after all. Yesterday, however, I was a complete slob. I got up around midday and did nothing all day (well, I did do somethings but they weren't very productive). I then decided to watch the four 'The fast and The Furious' films and I just finished the last one. I did do some homework, though technically I did it this morning as it was around 1 am. Oh well, such is life.

But, since I've been watching all these awesome films about cars I figured I talk about them a little. (Hmm, two bog about films in as many weeks, this may become a trend.) The thing I must say about these films is that I don't really watch them for the compelling story or deep characters; I watch them for the fast cars and the awesomeness, so I can't really judge them on the same level that i would other films. That's not to say that the plot and characters are bad per say, just not the films' forte. (By the way, this will contain soome spoilers. Just a heads up, so if you don't want to know what happens yet, go wtach the films then come back.)

I must say I will always love the first film. It's was pure awesome, with just the right balance of fast cars, action scenes and Vin Deisel. Brian starts of as a bit irritating, but I guess he gets better. The only thing that really pissed me off about it is that they killed Jesse, who was the best character. I guess that shows that they must have done something right for me to care about him enough to get pissed off.

The second film was, in my opinion, not as good. Well, I guess sequels are hard to make as good as the first but it just didn't really have the same feel. I don't really have much to say about this one, escept that I find I don't actually like brian that much. I don't dislike him, I just don't like him in the same way that I lke the other 'good' characters.

The third managed to find the awesomeness again (how can you not get awesomeness with drifting?) and I enjoyed it almost as much as the first. I did wonder though; the guy's probably lived in America practically his whole life even if he's been jumping about and yet as soon as he moves to Tokyo he goes to a japanese school where the lessons are in japanese. How the hell would he be able to understand anything? I accept the fact that by the end of the film he would know enough japanese to make coherent sentences, but at the beginning it just oden't make sense. Oh well, I just focussed on the cars and forgot about it.

The fourth was good, but it felt as though ti was trying a little to hard. Before it felt more like 'look at the pretty cars and the plotline with guns and shooting and cool shit' but in the fourth it was a little bit more weighty (not very much but a little bit). Vin Deisel also seemed to do quite a lot of brooding, though I guess it was undertsandable considering the situation. That's another thing; a message to the people making these films, stop killing off my favourite characters!

Anyway, there's an insight into my fun-packed weekend. Now go watch the films or do something car-related cos I know I've got you in the mood for it.

Cloverfield

2010-03-06T23:06:00.000Z

Hi. How goes it? So, if you follow me on Twitter you may know that i have just watch Cloverfield. Holy fucking shit. Seriously, that's the only thing I was thinking when that film ended. My brother, of course, was suitably un-frazzled, though that may be because he's already seen it.

Like I said on Twitter it seems to be essentially a cross betweeen Godzilla and Half-Life (whith a big dolop of awesome thrown in for good measure. I love that word. Dolop.) The Godzilla part is obvious; big bad creature destroying city, only this time its New York, not Tokyo, and the big bad creature is some fucking messed up thing instead of bad CG dinosaur (I always seem to forget Godzilla was a dinosaur and when I say it sound completely retarded).

The Half-Life part I got mainly from the little creatures that fall off the big... thing; they're basically ant lions that can climb walls instead of fly. I suppose the big creature is rather like a Guardian as well. All they needed was Gordon Freeman (incidentally, I mentioned this to my brother during the film and we agreed that if Dr. Freeman were there he would kick some big bad creature butt. Never get military guys to do a scientist's job.)

But never mind what the film reminds me of, the simple fact is that it is fucking awesome and if you haven't watched it yet you should. At first I was dubious; I thought the hand held camera style would detract from it somehow but it really didn't. It managed to heighten the tension in an amazing way. Something else I liked was the way that it was never clarified what exactly was happening. Well, it's kind of obvious that some big creature is attacking the city, but that's not what I mean. What I mean is the way it is never said why or how this creature came about, or what happens in the aftermath of the attack. Everything it confined solely to what was captured on the camera; if the characer didn't see it, neither did we. And whist being kept in the dark may be frustrating for some people I felt it worked. It gave us the opportunity to make up our own story and it didn't at all feel like they just couldn't be bothered to fill in the gaps.

The climax moments were very well done, not drawn out in a rediculous way but swift and shocking; very realistic. And I think that's the clincher. Everything, from the characters and their actions to how the city is destroyed and how the military reacts is realistic. Even the big monster being in the middle of it all seems realistc. I think this is what makes the whole thing so frieghtening; the thought that tomorrow or maybe the next day this could happen to us. That we'd be at a party, just like them, and suddenly our whole world would be turned upside down.

So next time you want to watch a film, go watch Cloverfield. Trust me.

A very long excuse

2010-02-28T22:19:00.000Z

I know, I know. This post is so unbelievably late. But in my defense I didn't have access to a computer until about noon today and I was so frazzled (that's an odd word) that I could think of anything to write about. 'Why didn't you have access to a computer?' I hear you ask although you probably weren't asking it. Well, that is because I spent the majority of my weekend at school. Yes, that sound utterly boring, but it wasn't.

I was doing what we call 'the 24 hour project' in which I spent 24 hours, 10 am until 10 am, at school with my drama class devising three pieces of theatre. But we're not just doing this for fun. Anyone who did or is doing (or maybe is going to do) GCSE Drama will know that in addition to the 3 pieces of filmed coursework there is a written exam which includes questions on an extract from a play as well as questions on three pieces of theatre that we had to devise from three stimuli we were given.

Of course, the stimuli we utterly uninspiring:

The Hitman
A Night On The Mountain
All The World's A Stage That I'm Going Through

However, we managed to make some pretty awesome pieces, and if you would care to read on I will summarise.

So, The Hitman. This was the first piece we devised and it took the longest (although it ran for the shortest amount of time). After we figured out our main idea we split ourselvs into three groups to work on the plot, the staging and lights, and the costume. I got the plot, which, as we had settled on doing a murder mystery Agatha Cristie style, was probably the hardest task. I'm actually extremely proud of the plot we came up with. It is long and rather complicated, but entertaining (too long to explain in detail here, though if you want me to for some reason just say so and I may consider to an extra post just for that). Basically it involved murder, affairs and a hell of a lot of blackmail. Oh, and just as the detective (who was played by me) revealed who the murderer was the ship started to sink. Did I forget to mention we were on the Titanic? As I was playing the detective and we had skipped right to the denoument so it was basically just me revealing it all bit by bit I had to do most of the talking. For the life of me I cannot say how I remembered all of it.

The second piecewe did was A Night On The Moutain, which was my favourite. We decided to set it on a ski lift and split the group into pairs with one group of three (which I was in) nad one person on their own. Each group was sitting on a different chair of th ski lift and each of us had our own roughly 2 minute plot. I barely said anything at all in that one as I was playing an awkward stranger stuck in the middle of a couple arguing about their failing marriage. I managed to get quite a few laughs though. The set was pretty cool for this one. In my school we have this stuff called cubuild (I don't know if that's how you spell it) which are basically glorified and more complicated lego pices. So we set them up to create different levels which represented the ski chairs going up until they reached the top and then coming down again.

The last one was All The World's A Stage That I'm Going Through (by far the worst title) which we didn't managed to completely finish because we ran out of time. That one was the hardest to get into, mainly because we started devising it aout half past eleven and we were all exhausted. We decided to go with a physical approached so the majority of the group represented the different stages the world has gone through over time (starting with the big bang). We had two charatcers; God and a scientist, who basically said the same events but with different reasons. Due to the fact that we chose the to most charismatic (and sompletely opposite) people in our group it worked pretty well.

So there it is: the reason I didn't post this yesterday. I apologise for the fact that this is kind of a cop-out post because I didn't have anything to write about, but this has occupied my entire mind for the past 24 hours so you can't blame me.

If I had a million dollars...

2010-02-20T22:06:00.000Z

... I'd be rich.

I was listening to Barenaked Ladies (as you do) and I was thinking, what would I do if I had a million dollars. I dunno but I probably wouldn't buy you a house. (I'm not going to put in stuff like send it to charities and stuff, because although that's probably what I would do, it doesn't make for good blog content.)

So I decided to make a list of things 10 things I would do if I had a million dollars (well, not necessarily dollars, because that limits me to America).

1. I'd probably buy myself a really flash and unecessarily fast sports car. I just love cars. Probably a Dodge Viper, because they're just awesome. Or an Aston Martin (though only it if I got James Bond as well).

2. Get a house. But not a massive mansion or anything like that. I'm not into that. Just a nice house somewhere nice. Or maybe two nice house tow places nice. Or maybe three... you get the picture.

3. Get a seriously good laptop. One that would run Crysis (named thus because it make computers cry). This is something I'm going to do anyway because my laptop is a pile of da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze. But I'd get a really, really good one.

4. Go to all the places I've always wanted to go to; namely, New Zealand, Canada (again, I'm going to do this anyway... I hope), Australia (will probably to this as well, one of my best friends lives there), Tibet, Nepal, America, Russia, Brazil... Let's just say I'd go around the world, okay?

5. Go to some really, really nice restaurants, because everyone likes restaurants.

6. Get myself a monkey! I know this is in the song, but I'm being serious, I would actually get a monkey, because monkey's are just so awesome. I'd get a small one that sits on my shoulder and is really adorable.

7. I'd get myself a sailing boat. Or better yet, a ship! Though, that would only be cool if it came with free pirates... But yeah, a sailing boat. I've wanted to be able to sail ever since reading The Swallows and the Amazons as a child.

8. I'd buy a really nice camera, because, you know, I'm going to all those places so I want to be able to take good pictures of them. Plus, I love photography.

9. I'd be able to pay my way through Drama school without having to take out any loans or have any debts. Yay!

10. Finally, and most importantly, I'd buy myself a bus (probably a school bus, nice and retro), round up all my friends and drive from Tucson to Las Vegas. Admit it, you would to.

(I've listened to this song a total of three times whilst writing this.) So what would you do if you had a million dollars?

Fun fact: I've actually never heard any other song by Barenaked Ladies .

Snuffed Out

2010-02-13T19:58:00.000Z

'Snuffed Out'

So I'm pretty proud of myself. The above is one of the five photographs I submitted for my school's photgraphy competition, which, as it happens, was chosen as the winner. Hence the pride. The aim of the competition was to get the students to think before taking photographs and not rely on Photoshop (or another programs) to fix/improve them later. Needless to say, we were not allowed to edit our pictures. The competition was created by the parents of a boy called Dulgoon (which is why it's called the Dulgoon Photo Competition) who was at my school and died in a quad-bike accident when he was just 15. He was an avid photographer and took some really amazing pictures, and so in commemoration of him the competition was started.

My photograph wasn't that difficult to set up, really. It was sort of chance that I managed to get the perfect smoke spiral. My teacher (I took this during my photography club) had this big light that we used to pick out the smoke better and I just set up that candle and the camera the way I wanted it then lit it and blew it out again. I just took loads of photos while the smoke was still in shot and found this one. The smoke in the background was made using those little circular candles you get. There were three of them and for some reason they made a hell of a lot of smoke. The candle is a little over-exposed, but I quite like it that way.

So as I couldn't think of anything to write about this week, I thought I post this up. Please tell me what you think!

In the wee small hours of the morning

2010-02-07T01:06:00.000Z

The sun has long since sunk beyond the horizon and faint stars manage to glow through breaks in the cloud, their light diminished by the thick layer of smog that hangs over the city. Almost as if separated from time you forget the constraints of linear life and simply exist in that moment, that hour somewhere between today and tomorrow when everything hangs in the balance. In the distance cars can be heard honking their horns like impatient children and outside your window there is the sound of a drunk throwing up against the wall.

But somewhere, somehow, a nightingale is singing.

Such a sweet song that manages to worm its way through the protective layer of indifference that every Londoner wears and infect your heart with its beauty. It is this that gives you the strength to put down the whiskey bottle, stub out the cigarette and turn to the canvas beside you. A painting, of sorts, greets you and it is all you can do to stop yourself from shuddering at the sight of it. A painting that has been your sole purpose for the last five weeks and seems to have a mind of its own. How else can you describe its stubborn refusal to bear any semblance to the woman you photographed.

She had been undescribable. To call her 'beautiful' would have seemed an insult. No, there was no word to describe this woman. She was pure inspiration, the culmination of every wonderful moment in life. The way her hair had tumbled down her slender back in auburn waves, managing to reflect the grey ligt of the London skies and turn it gold. Or was it her lips, slightly turned at the corners as she gazed upon an old man strumming a guitar and managing to make it sing the sweetest song that fell on the deaf ears of passers by. But perhaps in had been her glance as she noticed you with your camera oh so discreetly pointed in her direction. The flicker of her deep brown eyes, the understanding of your actions and then the way they lazily returned to their previous state with no indication of indignation at being photographed without permission.

To meet this woman had been you goal for weeks as you visited the café at the same time every day. But eventually the desire to know her gave way to the insatiable need to paint, and not just anything, but her. For in doing this you are paying her the greatest compliment of all, that of an artist's attention. And yet it seemed sad that she would never know the joy it gave you to finally see her flowing from your brush as your weeks of toil and struggle break in a wave of inspiration. But maybe she does know.

Somewhere, somehow, a nightingale sings, and it tells her of what she has created.

The mind is a fickle thing

2010-01-31T13:51:00.000Z

So I'm a little ashamed of myself. This is the first week that I give myself a deadline for this blog and already I miss it. I think I might have an illness; no one should procrastinate at this level. But I kind of an excuse, or, to be more exact, several excuses. Firstly I spent much of yesterday doing homework and when I thought about writing the blog I didn't know what the hell to write about, and so I was still pondering on it when the time came that I had to go to the gym. This is something I don't usually do on Saturdays, I generally go Sunday morning, and the reason for this change in routine was that I was spending the night at my friend's house. In fact, I'm still there now, using her computer and marveling at how much better it is than mine. Plus it's got Windows 7, which is good because I need practice on the new OS for when I get my new computer, which will, no doubt have Windows 7.

So to wrap up what is a rather long excuse (as well as a dip into my boring life) I never got the chance to actually write the blog. Next week, however, I am going nowhere and so I will most likely get round to it on Saturday.

So, yesterday I tweeted about the fact that I had nothing to write about and in response I got some suggestions from some followers. ThereminJelly's challenge of 'Write a story based on these phrases: "Fisherman's Jam" "Village rising" and "The final froog"' was likely the most interesting but I will have to think about it for some while, and as it's half past 1 and I haven't had any food all day, I'm not in the mood for thinking. So I'll do that next week.

However, I don't really know what to write about this week (although my excuses and explanations have already taken up half the post, so I think I might be able to get away with not actually writing about anything, per say). So, while the part of my brain that governs my blog-writing ability is still asleep I'll take this opportunity to talk about whatever the hell pops into my head in the next five seconds. And that would be the fact that my foot has gone to sleep. Well, it had gone to sleep, now its got to that stage where it feels all weird and tingly every time I move it, which is not nice. Oh, and now I've got pins and needles. My foot really doesn't like me today.

You know something, I really think Microsoft is trying way to hard with their latest OSs. They managed to get XP vaguely right, I mean it wasn't Linux, but it was pretty good. But when they got to Vista everything just sort of fell down. I think it they were trying to make it too much like a Mac. There were just little things, like the desktop background that looked like curtains of light and the new loading icon that looked like they were to much like a Mac to be original. And now they've changed the taskbar into a hybrid of that thing that Macs have, which is something I really dislike (on Macs as well as PCs). Microsoft just needs to accept that it's not Apple and get over itself.

Anyway, just thought I'd put that in.

So I'm out of ideas (and I really need to walk around because my foot is killing me) so I'm gonna sign off. I apologise for the fact that this is a really random post, but in my defense I was kept awake until about 3 in the morning by my friend's cat who walk around the house yowling.

Good day, people of the Internets. Have a nice Sunday.

The woes of procrastination

2010-01-25T23:27:00.000Z

So I'm bored right now, and a little upset fro reasons that are my own (okay, more than a little, but that doesn't matter) so I decided to write this. Actually, that's not the only reason I'm writing this post.

I've been thinking lately (and by lately I meant the last fifteen minutes) that I should make a schedule for this blog otherwise I forsee it finding it's way into the tunnels of procrastination that lead to the pits of abandoned projects. Because procrastination is my worst enemy. I used to be really good, I'd get my work done on time (usually on the day I got it) and I would never miss a deadline. But it seems ever since I've started IGCSEs (which coincided with my fourteenth birthday, a fact I doubt was unrelated) I've been slipping furthur down that slippery slope that is our good friend procrastination. This has made me learn that I'm not very good at keeping up with things, even if its something I really care about. So I've given myself a schedule. Every Saturday I'm going to put up a blog post, without fail, and if I miss one you have my full permission you yell at me (I'll also make up for it on Sunday). Hopefully a goal will make me stick to this, because I really don't want this blog to die.

This leads me nicely onto my second problem: content. I have a really hard time thinking of what to write about. I guess I'm stuck in the mentality that a blog has to be about your life, because it really doesn't. I can write anything, anything at all, but that just makes it harder to think of something. I guarantee you that if you ask someone to think of any word, any word at all, they'll umm and eer about it for at least five to ten seconds, but it you ask someone to think of any word beginning with, say, the letter w, they'll only that about one or two seconds to decide (this isn't a tested theory. I shall try it out on my friends and return with results at a later date. The guarantee should not be taken as such, but only a figure of speech.) But I'm really going to try. I'll try stuff I haven't done before, like short stories or photographs, maybe even some of my precious private skecthbook pages. I'm also giving the opportunity to anyone who reads this blog to give me challenges or suggestions on what to write about (like VikkieThemMimm gave me the lemur challenge). They would be much appreaciated.

Well, it's late and I've got my school's obligatory cross country race tommorrow so I'd best get some sleep. Good night all.

By the way, thanks for the follow alexmason10.6.92. Would you by any chance also be iamafish? If you're not you have my full permission to look at me wierdly.

They like to move it, move it.... when they're dancing on our graves

2010-01-16T17:25:00.000Z

I have been issued a challenge to halp me overcom my mental blog post. The challenge goes thusly (from VikkieTheMimm): evaluate the statement "one day, the lemurs shall evolve and rule us all". Give your response.

Now, I would like to start by informing you of the fact that I love lemurs. I have loved lemurs for as long as I cna remember, and even more ever since last spring when I went to the zoo up in Lisbon for my work experience. They are the most adorable creatures you can imagine and although they're probably not the most intelligent of creatures there's something highly inquisitive about them. Unfortunately, I find that nowadays when people hear lemur they think 'I like to move it, move it' which is something that seriously annoys me. Not just that specifically but generally when people catagorize animals, and even people, by the films they've been in, which always seem to somehow involve Disney or companies that make Disney-like films. I'm not saying I don't like Disney, because I do, and I thought that Madagascar was a very... reasonable film. But it just annoys me when a grown person sees a deer and goes 'look, it's Bambi' or sees a meerkat (I speak from the experience of having a friend who did this) and goes 'I'll call it Timon'. Be a bit more imaginative, please.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. World-dominating Lemurs. It could happen. I mean, look at the facts: they're native to Madagascar only and about 90% of Madagascar’s original rainforest has been destroyed. Whilst this makes the Lemurs a high prority conservation wise, they must be more than a little pissed off at us for destroying their one and only home. So they've got the motive for world-domination, but do they have the brains? Well, if you go by the film Madagascar's depiction of them, no, they don't (they trust lions for god's sake, where the hell's their natural survival instinct?) but that's by the by. (Side comment here, I'm listening to BBC Radio 2 and I must ask this: what the hell is up with this song? Someone please kill MC Hammer.) Well, you may think being endemic to the island of Madagascar if a little silly, but really, on the whole it's not. Taken from the (hopefully) reliable piece of the internets that is Wikipedia:

"Molecular genetics indicates that they reached Madagascar after it broke away from mainland Africa, possibly by "rafting" across the ocean on large clumps of vegetation. While their ancestors were displaced in the rest of the world by monkeys and apes, the lemurs were safe from competition on Madagascar and differentiated into a number of species."

From this we see that they managed to survive by isolating themselves, and that they can 'raft'. That conjours an interesting image. (Side comment: Oooh, Biffy Clyro. BBC Radio 2, you are back in my good books). So they must have some sort of mind, but is it enough for world-domination? Well, I think the only way we will know that is when we're watching the world's leaders being held at Lemur-sized knife point by our furry little friends. I happen to believe they're smarter that we give them credit for, maybe smart enough to take over the world. They've got enhanced night vision so it would be easy for them to ambush us when we're most vulnerable (i.e, drooling into our pillows).

So we've got motive and method and from that I would advise you to be on the lookout in the future. Cute and cuddly they may be, but they have potentially genius minds behind those disconcertingly large eyes and one day they will get us back for destroying their home and wiping out many of their species.

So, VikkieTheMimm, my evaluation is that yes, one day the Lemurs will get their revenge. I just hope I'm not there to see it, it may get nasty.

Footnote:

I challenge you to look at that and not go 'awwwww'. And even if you didn't say it, you thought it.

What happens when you're left 4 dead?

2010-01-10T14:33:00.001Z

So I was reading VikkieTheMimm's blog and I came across her entry on what she would do in a zombie apocalypse. This got me thinking so I decided to lay out my own plans. (All credit goes to VikkieTheMimm for inspiring this post and I apologise to her for copying her idea. It's just a sign that I like it.)

So let's start with assests.

The Zombies: I'm going to say these are old time zombies ala Shaun of the Dead instead of the wierd concotions seen in the 28 days/months/weeks/light years later films and Left 4 Dead 1&2. I'd rather deal with shambling corpses than speedy fuckers with stupidly long tongues.

The Survivor: I'm 1.65 m, which I believe is around 5'4, average build and resonable strength. Average speed, but I think if I was being chased by a horde of zombies that wouldbe increased just a tad. I'm going to assume that the zombie apocalypse is happening in the very near future and so the people in the house would be myself, my two brothers and my mother (oh, and the cats).

The Base: 4 bedroom semi-detached, two floors. Single pane windows but all of them have bars and wire mosquito netting except for the upstairs bathroom (which is too small for even a zombie to get through).

The Surrounding Area: Mostly housing, I live in a village that sort of merges into the next town so that means high poulations of zombies unfortunately. There's a valley not to far off that could provide cover as well as a large hill in the opposite direction that would probably slow down the zombies somewhat. My house is built on a hill as well and at the bottom of it is a river that runs quickly at this time of the year. In the summer it would be useless, however.

Right, on the plan.

First thing to do is brave the garden in order to set up a wall of fire around the house. The lemon tree in ym back yard would provide kindling adn there is little danger of the fire spreading and burning down the house as the garden is completely paved. Fire will ward of the zombies. Once this is done we'd collect everything we find in the garden that could be useful.

Second we'd getour arses back inside and bolt and barricade all the doors and windows for extra protection. I think our best bet of survival would be to hole up in the house until it's over rather than going out there and fighting them. There may be some problems with that though, which I'll adress in a minute.

Okay, onto weapons. As every one knows the way to kill a zombie is by destroying the brain or severing the head. This requires either sharp or blunt objects. Unfortunately, we have a lacking of blunt objects. However, this could be easily remidied. Our old Ikea stools are distinctly unstable and it would be easy to break the legs off the use as weapons. In addition to that, if we were brave enough to venture down the the garage we have a surplass of wrenches ect. as well as some drills that would be rather use full (does drilling a hole in their head count as destroying the brain?). We also have kitchen knives that could be tied onto long sticks to create makeshift spear. This would create a wider 'slash arch' as well as stop the zombie from getting close enough to bite you. Should the house be surrounded we could use lemons (which are hard little fuckers) to ward them off by pelting them at the zombies from the upstairs balcony. We also have, dare I say it, my brothers guitars, though I think those would have to be a last option. Although we could always just use his guitar case instead, that would damn hurt if it was smashed over your head. We do have a rusty machete somewhere (it was already in the garage when we bought the ouse, we are not serial killers) that would do no end of damage to a zombified neck.

Right, now the problem I mentioned earlier. Being the heartless bitch that I am I would most likely just get on with saving myself and hope that my friends have the smarts to stop themselves from being bitten. My brother, on the other hand, would most likely want to go save his girlfriend. Thus the problem. I wouldn't trust my mother to leave the house as I doubt she would have much survival skill and she also would want to be left there alone, so my oldest brother would have to stay with her. This leaves me and my other brother to go save his damsel in distress. Unfortunately, neither of us know how to drive and fuck me if we're walking all that way. So, either we wing it and just hope that our minimal knowledge of how a car works in enough to get us by (which I think it probably is) or we we make our way up the road to where my chemistry teacher lives (it's wierd how many of my teachers have lived in my village) and get him to drive us over to her house in his van. I think that would probably be the best option. So we go save the girlfriend (and most likely her parents too) then get ourselves back home were we hole up until its over. Sounds fun.

What to do if you're caught in the open: So, if you're caught outside and you know it would be suicidal to try and get back to base, the best thing to do would be to find higher ground, preferably a hill of some sort. You'll move faster and be more agile than the zombies so it would take them a lot longer to climb it. Once up the hill, arm yourself with whatever you can find, just in case they get to the top before you find a way of escaping. Hopefully the helicopters will come soon. However, this provides other problems. What happens if the helicpters come at night? How will they know, from afar, that you are a human and not another shambling mass of flesh and bones? Well, here's a little trick I picked up from a novel called Lirael by Garth Nixon (fucking brilliant series, by the way, for anyone who likes fantasy books). Make a fire, use anything; you're in an apocalypse, for God's sake, it doesn't matter what you burn anymore. Then, when you see the helicopters coming, start singing. Sounds wierd, I know, but it will show them you're human and they won't gun you down. Doesn't matter what you sing, just sing it loud and clear.

What to do if someone gets bitten: leave them. Seriously, they're just going to turn into a zombie and if they have any human decency they will want to be left in order to not harm everyone else. So if they get bitten, either kill them (probably the kindest option) or if you can't bring yourself to do that, chuck them out there with the rest of the infected. There's no point hanging onto them if they're just going to get you killed.

So there's my plan for a possible zom-pocalyse. I think I'd do rather well. Of course, as VikkieTheMimm says it would probably be a lot more fun to barricade yourself in a pub with a bunch of comedians, but apolcalypses are rarely perfect.

Ranting myself to Oblivion

2010-01-07T22:01:00.003Z

Before I start I have to warn you that this is a long post. It is also a rant, so beware.

So I just had my second day of exams, these ones were by far the worst I'm going to get (History and Chemistry) and as I've only got Drama tommorow, which you can't really revise for, I felt like writing a blog post. And baisically the title says it all. I'm in a gaming mood and I just realised that I haven't written anything about games on this blog (save for that stuff about the Borderlands box art) and so I thought I would write this.

First let me give you the back story. Morrowind was my first game (well, the first game I played personally). I started playing it when I was about eight or nine years old and although for a while I didn't really understand what was going on and got totally freaked out every time I was in a battle situation I found it immensely fun and addictive. Ever since then it has been, without doubt, one of my favourite games. So when I heard about Oblivion coming out I was practically jumping up and down with euphoria. Sadly it was a euphoria that was diminished somewhat when I actually played the game. Don't get me wrong it's a very enjoyable game and I love it, but I can't help seeing its flaws compared to Morrowind. Of course, there are some things Oblivion does that Morrowind doesn't. So this post is basically me ranting on about things that annoy me. I would like to warn any Oblivion groupies and fan boys that I will and I repeat will be slating Oblivion. Oh and another thing: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS UP AHEAD! I'll inform you of when they'll come up.

So lets begin. And, as every one knows, the best place to begin is a the beginning. So I shall start with the Character Generator sequence. Now, everyone has their qualkms about the Face Gen in Oblivion. It is a widely known fact that it takes about an hour to make a face that looks good, and I mean good. Those who don't want to spend ages working on their face will probably have to settle for something that looks average and at best passably attractive. But this, I believe, is beside the point. Morrowind face generator was hardly much better and was only improved upon my the fuck load of mods that introduce new playable faces (I would like to point out that while I try and keep the game as lore-friendly and original as ever I am a sucker for graphics mods). The thing I don't like about the character creation in Oblivion is that there's no integration. In Morrowind it all made sense; you were on a prison boat but the guard didn't have a record of your origins and such and so you needed to tell him, queue character generator. In Oblivion there is no integration into the story line whatsoever. It like the game's saying 'okay, I'm going to make it unbandantly clear that this is not real. Now choose your face. Good, you can begin the game'. The character generation should be part of the game. Credit to Oblivion that this happens later on when choosing your class and such but it still just feels wrong when making the face.

Another thing that irritates me about the opening sequence, something quite small that other people probably don't care about, is when you ask (I should say are forced to ask) the Emperor why you are in prison and the only answer you get is some drivel about the Gods. Seeing as this is an RPG it makes sense that they don't force a back story on you and I don't mind in Morrowind whereyou can just make one up (or not, if you don't care) but in Oblivion it removes this possibility by making it clear that 'you' don't know why you're in prison. Why the hell wouldn't you know why you're in prison? Wouldn't it kind of be explained when they do the 'I'm arresting you for...' bit? Sure he says the Gods have 'placed you there' but that just makes it sound like you spawned in the prison, like you didn't have any existence before hand or you were walking down the road one day when suddenly ZAP! you were in a damp prison cell. It's rediculaarse.

Now, the next section I don't really have any complaints about. I actually quite like the goblin infested cave initiation ceremony. It fits, so I won't dwell on it for very long. The next thing I want to talk (complain) about is the beginning of the main quest. This is just the beginning, mind you, and will go no further than the Kvatch/Martin stuff so if you haven't played that bit skip this (unless you don't care about spoilers, it's not a very big one). If you have played it then you're fine. So, the beginning of the main quest. Lets see, it goes something like this, get out of prison, sure, fine, I can do that, take amulet to Jauffre, yup, easy peasy, let me just get my hiking boots on, go to Kvatch to find Martin, alrighty then I'll just- oh. Big red sky. Big flaming gate. Did something happen? Yeah, I'd best leave you guys to get on with that- wait what? You want me to do what now? You want me to go in there and close it down. This is the beginning of the main quest for god's sake! You don't do something like that at the beginning of the main quest. At the beginning of the main quest you go to a cave where you have to kill two/three bandits tops and find some rusty cube (although in Morrowind technically your first set of orders from Caius Cosades is to take 200 septims and go join a guild. Something realistic.). You don't go into Oblivion (aka hell), a place swarming with Daedra (aka the devil's minions) and plants that attack you and close down a gate by hacking you're way through their main tower! Seriously, Bethesda, talk about throwing us in at the deep end.

There is another thing I don't like about the main quest starting this way and that is that if you don't immediatly go to Kvatch to find Martin and decide to do other stuff at first instead the story line gets messed up. Well it doens't get messed up in game but it doesn't make any sense. Because the Kvatch attack is already something that's happened before you get out of prison and so if you go do other stuff first then what's happened to Kvatch? It's just been sitting there the whole time and nobody knows? Makes no sense.

So I'm going to stop going into specifics and start to genralise and the first generalisation is something that I've heard many people say and that is the lack of immersion. Oblivion is a game that is really hard to totally get into because it keeps reminding you that it's just a game. This happens to me especially when I'm talking to people or walking around town. You'll be out for a stroll, admiring Oblivion fancy graphics and realistic textures, having a look at the less fancy and realistic people when suddenly someone turns and gets stuck on a piece of scenery. Immersion broken. Or you'll be sneaking around at midnight trying to find a beggar to ask about you're new Thieves guild mark, you'll give them a coin or ten and they'll tell you what you need to know. Then you decide you want to know some rumours as well and they go from being a beggar with a croaky voice to a middle class townsperson. Immersion broken. There's always something that pulls you right out of it.

Something else I don't like is whilst you get the option to become a vampire (at least, if you're in the Dark Brotherhood. I don't know if you can become one any other way) there are no quests relating to vampires. All you get are the vampire attributes and messages describing wierd dreams every time you sleep. It's like they started writing a quest invloving the dreams then gave up and just made them a 'vampire thing'. Whereas in Morrowind you get the clans and the quest as well. Why are the Oblivion vampires not in clans?

Something else I'd like to mention (spolier ahead, I warn you when I get there) is that, for and RPG, there are some points that are rather, well, grindy. (Okay, spolier). There is a point in the main quest where you have to close a gate that has opened in Bruma and you are given an optional side quest where you can go to each city and ask for aid for Bruma. Fine, a bit boring, but I'll do it anyway. Except that you have to close a gate in every single city before they'll give you aid because they need their soldiers to guard to gate. What the hell? If you want to make the player work for the aid thing of something other that just closing gates every single time! Once or twice, fine, but have you no imagination (talking to Bethesda here)? Couldn't there be something else that the guards are needed for that the player could help with. Because when you have to close all those gates not only is that boring in itself but you get reccuring gates that you've done before and so the task becomes mind numbing. Sure its only a side quest but that's no excuse for bad quest writing.

One more ailment. Fast Travel. Before you start yelling at me, hear me out. This is another of those immersion brekaing things because it makes no sens in an RPG setting. THis is meant to be kind of relaistic, no? Couldn't they have done it like they did in Morrowind. That was good, witht he Silt Striders in most towns. And when there wasn't a Silt Strider there was always a boat. There was always some way of getting from A to B without having to trekk. It felt like the fantasy equvalent of taking the bus to the station then taking the train. But in Oblvion you can just 'pop' out of one place and into another. It, yet again, remind you that it's just a game.

Wow. I'm almost out of complaints. I haven't actually compeleted the main quest yet (I haven't played the game in quite a while for many different reasons) so I might notice something else later on. There are other thing si don't like, like the dungeons all being very generic (and also practically the only things you can do in the wilderness) and also the crappy voice acting (Sean Bean, who does Martin, exempt, of course because he is brilliant. I actually can't remember if his voice acting is any good or not but he's brilliant anyway just because he's Sean Bean). I want ot say that overall, I prefer Morrowind. It just has a lot more depth to it and there are some really wierd and hilarious moments (like the guy with the wierd had falling out of the sky becauseof the scroll of Incarnate flight). However, I would like to make this point abundantly clear. I like Oblivion. Hell, I like it a lot. It's a fun game. But there are just some things that really bug me about it and I felt like telling you about them. There are also things that Morrowind doesn't do that Oblivion does and I love those things, but that's for another time because 1. this post is too long and 2. my fingers are freezing.

If you would like to dispute me on any of the the points I have made or if you would like to make you're own complaint on Oblivion (or Morrowind for that matter) feel free to do so. However, you must give a valid argument and not get annoyed if someone else (or myself) argues back. If you start acting like a stereotypical internet douchebag and simply start insulting me, anything I have said or anybody else who commented and not give any valid arguments I will delete your post. I have no patience for people who just yell and don't know what they're yelling. Take you're imbecilic bigotism someplace else if thats what you want to do. Try YouTube, you'll feel at home there.

Give me another week?

2010-01-02T23:37:00.000Z

Okay, so I just realised that it's Saturday (and it's nearly over) which means that I have three days until my exams start. Three days. That is certainly not enough time. And I know they're not my real exams, they're just the mocks, but they're exams none the less. Plus, unlike the real exams they're crammed into the space of a week and a half, meaning that I will probably have a nervous breakdown half way through.

My brother tells me not to worry, that it's actually not that bad, but he's done them. It's in the past for him. For me it's in the future, a future that it getting nearer every second.

On another note, I saw Sherlock Holmes today with some friends of mine and I would like to commend Robert Downey Jr. on his immpecable English accent. I was expecting it to slip at some point but it never did. It was a very good film, though definately not how I imagined Sherlock Holmes. I always thought of him as a tall, thin somewhat haggard-looking man in a beige trenchcoat and bowler hat who only spoke when he had something amazingly insightful to say (I've never actually read any of the books, but that's how I saw him). I've resolved to read some Sherlock Holmes books when my exam frenzy is over because my mother tells me they are brilliant and I've always liked mysteries.

So there's not much substance to this blog post, I just felt like putting one up. I'm hoping I'll be able to stick with this blog now that the December Challenge is over. I'll probably be a bit quiet for a while due to the aformentioned exams that are rounding the bend at 100 MPH but hopefully I'll have more to say when I have the time.

So for now, hope you all had a generally enjoyable 2009 and you started 2010 with a bang.

A new dawn, a new day a new start...

2010-01-01T00:40:00.001Z

...minus the dawn part as it's only quarter past midnight.

My first post of 2010, my first post that doesn't have Gwen Bell's awesome blog challenge to hide behind. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Gwen Bell for her challenge that kept me updating almost everyday (but I always played catch up). I'd also like to thank James Turner from LoadingReadyRun as it was my devoted reading of his 'Best of 2009' that kept me updating mine.

Well now. It's a new year, and that means new problems, and some old ones. But it also means new thrills, and those are the things we remember. It's going to be a hard year for me, I've got my Mock GCSE exams next week and the real ones in May, but I bet it'll be over before I know it and I'll spend roughly 7 sweltering weeks on summer holiday, playing all the games that were deprived from me in the recent months. Once I get my new computer that is. But since that has been promised to me by my mother I have no worries.

I'm hopeful for the new year. Very hopeful.

By the way, might I say one thing in light of my recent outing yesterday: if you haven't seen Avatar yet, you deserve a nice big pile of da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze on your head because that is a fucking good movie. Plus they did the 3D really well, as in it would still be good if it wasn't 3D but the 3D enhances it well. And they didn't over use stupid flying objects coming towards you like they did in Spy Kids 3D (that film gave me a rash on my eyeballs).

Day 31: Best Unkept Resolution

2009-12-31T22:37:00.000Z

Resolution you wish you'd stuck with. (You know, there's always next year...)

I've never really been one to make resolutions. I guess I know that I won't keep them. Way I see it is what's the point it making a promise to yourself unless its something you really care about, and since I can't think of anything to promise myself that is something I really, really care about there's no point in making silly promises I know will ultimately fail. I think I made one last year, because someone pressed me, and that was to get all my work done as soon as possible and not wait till the last minute. Yeah, right. That really worked out.

So I'm not making any resolutions this year. Neither am I going to a party tonight, which is a little tragic. But I have a better idea, almost just as good. So if you're like me and you haven't got an ultra suave social gathering to go to (or you know that come midnight you'll be finding you're fellow party goers extremely irritating and will need some time alone to keep you from becoming trigger happy with a Nerf gun) then just do what I'm going to do.

Look through you're music and find a song that makes you feel alive, then, when midnight rolls around and the fireworks and shooting off whilst everyone is counting down to the moment of truth (which is never as impressive as the build up sets it up to be) go outside, plug yourself into your iPod (or MP3 if you're like me and can't afford fancy stuff with a little i before the name) put on that song and ride into the new year in style. Trust me, you'll feel like you're in a movie.

But whatever you do, just remember one simple fact for 2010: it's not what you have or where you come from or even what happens in the coming year, it's what you make of it all that changes your life. Live every day like its your last and every moment like its your first.

I'll see you next year.

Day 30: Best Ad

2009-12-30T23:13:00.000Z

Ad. What advertisement made you think this year?

I haven't really seen any profound or interesting ads on telelvision recently and I there's only one that I can think of that really stuck in my mind. I guess I remembered it because of how it was done; short clips of actors and other well known people (one of them being Nicholas Holt) with a voice over of a child saying the lines they were acting. It was an advert about child care and helplines and that sort of thing; I guess I just remembered the interesting way it was put together. You don't really see that many adverts that carry any weight nowadays, what with the onslaught of washing powders, cleaning products, perfumes and of course the ever present sofas (well, ever present if you watch English channels, I don't know about anywhere else) they all just seem to merge into one another, simply turning into an annoyance or our chance to make a break for the coffee without missing our program. It almost seems as though there are more ads than actually television programs these days. I don't really watch that much TV anyway, unless you count streaming programs on the internet. That I do a lot.

Day 29: Best Laugh

2009-12-29T20:16:00.000Z

Laugh. What was your biggest belly laugh of the year?

My 'Best Laugh' this year was probably during my school's production of Sweet Charity. I was backstage during the majority or Act 1 and let me tell you that absolutely everything is ten times funnier when you're not allowed to laug. Me and my friends did some silly things backstage and it was frankly hilarious.

Day 28: Best Stationary

2009-12-28T20:09:00.000Z

Stationery. When you touch the paper, your heart melts. The ink flows from the pen. What was your stationery find of the year?

Just want to say that, for the record, my heart doesn't melt when I touch paper. Just doesn't do it for me. Rulers on the other hand...

Anyway... my 'stationary find of the year' would probably be some drawing pencils I picked up when I was in Dublin. I guess they're not really that speical but they are rather nice and make a nice change to stubby pencils found at the back of drawers.

Day 27: Best Social Web Moment

2009-12-27T19:59:00.000Z

Social web moment. Did you meet someone you used to only know from her blog? Did you discover Twitter?

I guess it would have to be Twitter. I made an account in the summer because I thought it would be fun, posted one tweet then forgot all about it until someone asked me if I had Twitter. It was then that I decided to start using it more and I've found it really fun. My tweets aren't especially insightful or interesting, just like my life, but I prefer to tweet when I actually have something to say, no matter how mundane, instead of just things like 'I'm making coffee' or 'I'm going shopping' all the time (I do that sometimes, but not often). I've met some cool people on Twitter, people I already knew of from forums and such but had never really spoke to. So yeah, Twitter awesome.

Day 26: Best Insight or Aha! Moment

2009-12-26T19:58:00.000Z

Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

I don't think I've really had an epiphany (whenever someone mentions epiphanies I can't help thinking of the Scrubs episode with the epiphany toilet. Random) this year. I guess I did have a sort of epiphany, though it's an extremely hippy and mushy one. I think it was spurred from watching some video or program about our perception of beauty and I realised that anything can be beautiful if you look at it the right way, even if its something that most people would consider far from beautiful. And please don't comment saying stuff like 'how is a zombie beautiful' and other silly things like some people did when I mentioned my 'philosophy' on some YouTube video. If you want to know how a zombie can be beautiful, find a picture of one and work it out for yourself. The point is to get past the initial reaction and really look, thinking about every detail. Whilst the whole might not be appeal there is always something in it that is beautiful.

Day 25: Best Gift

2009-12-25T19:39:00.000Z

Gift. What's a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

A gift that I've given myself. Hmm. I guess it would have to be my camera (although technically I didn't buy it in 2009, but I've used it most in 2009).

It's a Nikon D40 and It's seen quite a lot of use in the past year. I've really gotten more into photography and although I'm still learning I think I'm getting kind of good (not brilliant, mind you). it was definitely a good buy and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Day 24: Best Learning Experience

2009-12-24T19:30:00.000Z

Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

Before I start I must point out that this and all other posts up until the 29th are being written on the aformentioned 29th because what with all the really exciting things that have been going I just haven't found the time to update. That or I just forgot. So, as with other late posts I will set it so that it looks like its been posted on the day that it was meant to because I'm OCD about that sort of thing. I apologise for the inconvenience.

Anyhoo, onto the post:

I guess I haven't really had a major learning experience, its mainly been little things that happen throughout the day. Just everyday stuff that has taught me something either that I didn't know before or that I should keep in mind in the future. Nothing really that special.

Feliz Natal e Boas Festas a todos na internet.

(Translation: Merry Christmas and Good Parties (It's a Portuguese phrase that doesn't translate very well) to everyone on the internet)

Day 23: Best Web Tool

2009-12-23T16:44:00.000Z

Web tool. It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn't live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.

I don't know whether you would count it as a web tool, but probably webs.com is the one I've used most. I had wanted to make a website for a while and I tried my hand at HTML but it didn't work, mainly because I didn't have enough time to do all the HTMLing, which can take time. So I've been using webs.com (formerly freewebs.com) to make and update my website (which isn't actually that interesting and I'm not sure if anyone actually looks at it.) I find it very user friendly and although you don't have the freedom you get from HTML it a good tool for simple websites.

So that's all I've got. See you tommorow!

Day 22: Best Startup

2009-12-22T11:47:00.000Z

Startup. What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?

Well, this is kind of cheating because this business most certainly didn't start in 2009 and I already knew about it before 2009. However, it was in 2009 that I started going there more often. So I'm going to talk about the bakery near my school that it the holy grail of pastries. I don't know what its actually called, we all just say 'the bakery' and know what everyone it talking about. Its this little place next to the train station (which is across the road from my school) that is both a bakery and a grocery store, but nobody goes ther for anything other than the pastries. They are, in sort, fucking fantastic. I'd been occasinally in previous years when the fancy struck me but it was only this year, what with the pressure of GCSE's and having to wait 45 minutes after school before I could go home because of this new schedule my school has introduced that means the kids in the years above (Year 12 and 13 which would be the Senior years, I suppose, if you live in the US and A-Levels/IB in Europe. We do the IB.) have an extra class. This means I have to wait for my brother and my mum (who teaches at my school) to finish and to pass the time I go down to the bakery.

So yeah. Not really what I was supposed to write about but its the best I've got.

P.S I apologise for my strange use of brackets. I either use them too much or go off on tangents within them that makes it kind of confusing.

Day 21: Best Project

2009-12-21T21:21:00.000Z

Project. What did you start this year that you're proud of?

This one is difficult. I looked at it this morning and spent the whole day thinking of what to write about. I don't really know if this can be counted as a project per se but its the best I've got so my 'Best Project of 2009' is probably my photography.

I recently discovered that I really enjoy photography, even if I'm not particuarly amazing (I'm not terrible either, though) and I managed to persuade my parents to get me a really nice digital SLR camera (Nikon D40) last christmas (though I paid for most of it). Although I had been into photography for a little while before that when I was just using a normal compact digital camera I got a lot more enthusiastic this year and I've taken loads of pictures (which stay saftley secret on my hard drive).

So that's my project. I don't if it really counts but it's the best I've got to offer. If your lucky (or unlucky, depending on which way you want to look at it) I might get round to uploading some of my recent photos onto Flickr.

Day 20: Best New Person

2009-12-20T19:47:00.000Z

New person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

This one's hard, mainly because I haven't really met any new people. Usually a load of new kids come in every September at the beginning of the new school year but seeing as this year was the second year of GCSEs we had no new students.

But I think I have my 'Best New Person', even though they're many people, and those people would have to be the crew members of LoadingReadyRun. If you don't know about LRR then you are missing a lot, especially if, like me, you're an unashamed geek. Here's a very, very simple 'low down' on them: basically they're a Canadian sketch comedy group who love video games. They're stuff is funny and original; I'd recommend them to anyone even if that person doesn't like video games.

Here's an extended 'low down' taken from the front page of their wiki:

Early in 2003 two guys named Graham and Paul figured making a website where they could show off some of their videos would be a good idea.

Several months later, when they remembered the idea, they started work on it. After a couple design concepts, they settled on LoadingReadyRun, inspired in name and appearance by the Commodore 64 home computer system from the '80s. See, they're also big geeks.

More than just showing off their few previous works, Graham and Paul decided to make new videos. Lots of new videos. Like, one every week. As well as being big geeks, they also make very poor and ambitious decisions.

LoadingReadyRun also features the LRRcast, an often-weekly series of podcasts in which cast members discuss the latest videos, talk about site news and video games, and answer questions posted in the forums in a section called 'AskLRR'. In addition, there are several bonus videos such as the discontinued The Whatever Thing, the Iron Stomach Challenge, Loading Time, and the Phailhaüs.

LoadingReadyRun produces Unskippable and the Escapist News Network for The Escapist. Starting in January 2010 The Escapist will exclusively distribute LoadingReadyRun's main weekly video.

LRR is based in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

I'd been watching Unskippable (done by Graham Stark and Paul Saunders who were the founders of LRR) over at The Escapist (another site you should check out) for some time but I had never really checked out their website until I saw their advertisment for a charity event they do every November called Desert Bus For Hope (if you want to know what is take a look at its website or I have written some stuff about it over at my own website) that they put at the end of one of the Unskippable episodes (I believe it was Left 4 Dead).

So I watched, and thoroughly enjoyed, DBFH. There is not really anyway to describe how obsessed you can get with it or how satisfying it is when they do a challenge that you donated for. I can give you an idea by saying that I was praying I would get the dreaded swine flu (which was and still is rife in my school) just so that I could stay at home for seven days watching DBFH. Ironically I got swine flu the week after it ended. Life is cruel sometimes.

But after Desert Bus ended I decided I should drag myself over to LoadingReadyRun.com and since then I've anticipated their new video every Monday as well as watching many of their large backcatalogue of videos. They've also got a forums on which I've recently decided to stop being a lurker and start posting which is a fun place to be as well as an IRC channel and there is real sense of friendship and community about the whole affair. I know it sounds kind of sad that the 'Best New Person' are some people I've never met face to face (though I have talked to them over the internet) but they have often provided a respite from boredom for me and... well just go check it out and you'll probably know what the hell I'm on about.

Anyway, till tomorrow Internet!

Day 19: Best Car Ride

2009-12-19T16:50:00.000Z

Car ride. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?

I've been on a couple of long car rides this year down to the Alentejo or the Algarve (down at the bottom of the contry about four or five hours away from where I live, which is about the middle of the country) with friends but they weren't particularly special. Surprisingly probably the funnest car ride I've had this year was when I hitched a lift home when I was leaving the airport after coming back from Dublin (see my first post for extensive details of this trip). Probably the thing that made it fun was the antics of my two friends who were also getting a lift from the same person I was. I can't really remember what they did but I know it involved ice cream and it was hilarious. The car smelled like... well, a car really and what I ate was some very nice vanilla and chocolate ice cream. 'Twas fun.

Day 18: Best Shop

2009-12-18T17:10:00.000Z

Shop. Online or offline, where did you spend most of your mad money this year?

For me there is a difference between the place I spent most of my money, which would either be Primark or Amazon, and the place where I got my best buy of the year. I'm going to go with the latter as my 'Best Shop of 2009'. And that would be Camden Market.

I know it's not technically a shop as opposed to a collection of shops (or a market, hence the name) but I don't care. I chose this as today's best because that is where I bought my leather jacket, a piece of clothing I have prized since it came into my possesion. They also gave me a discount because they liked me.

It's also a really amazing place to go. Never before have I seen so many Gothic Lolita pieces of clothing in one place (or so many people wearing them). You get all sorts of people down that way, and there are some very nice charity shops as well.

Day 17: Best Word or Phrase

2009-12-17T12:11:00.000Z

Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. "2009 was _____."

This is difficult. This is very difficult. I have thought about this for ages and I still haven't come up with anything. Let me just think some more...

... I think I have it. Here it is, for me 2009 was completely and utterly bamboozling. (Definition of bamboozle: 1. to cheat: mislead, 2. to confuse)

Yes, 2009 was most definately bamboozling and for so many reasons. But, to be honest, that made it a lot more interesting than 2008. Maybe I'll do better in 2010.

Or maybe not.

Day 16: Best Tea of the Year

2009-12-16T16:06:00.001Z

Tea of the year. I can taste my favorite tea right now. What's yours?

Fun fact for you all: I don't like tea. Odd seeing as I'm English, right? I must be blowing your minds right now. An English person who doesn't like tea? Inconceivable! You learn something new everyday.

So instead of talking about my favourite tea of this year I shall talk about my favourite drink in general. And that has to be, without doubt, orange juice. Yes, orange juice. Something so normal, so mundane. We take it for granted don't we? I used to. But I learned something this year; orange juice is the best bloody drink ever! Think about that next time you have some.

Day 15: Best Packaging

2009-12-15T20:12:00.000Z

Best packaging. Did your headphones come in a sweet case? See a bottle of tea in another country that stood off the shelves?

This one was really hard because I haven't actually bough anything that had particularly interesting or exceptional packaging. I guess the best I've got to offer for today is my new copy of Borderlands, which has some pretty sweet box art.

The picture doesn't really do it justice. In reality the colours are a lot more vibrant and the picture is slightly raised as well being nice and shiny. It's actually some very nice box art.

Day 14: Best Rush

2009-12-14T22:24:00.001Z

Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?

This is easy one. There is no contest that this was the biggest rush of the year.

I can tell you now that I have a passion for acting. I have been in every school play since I was the age of ten and last year's (last school year that is, it was still 2009) was no exception. Let me tell you that we put on the best bloody performance of Sweet Charity that has ever existed! (Probably not true but it felt like that)

In my experience there is no bigger rush than performing. It starts a few hours before opening, when everybody is running around, putting on costumes and getting their make up ready. You start to feel the excitement, blubbling inside you. What I've found is that we all have our different stages.

I start calm. I'm cool about it as I get ready. I've practiced before, everything is gonna be fine. Then I start getting hyper. As it gets closer to opening time and the audience starts to arrive. Suddenly everything is twice as exciting and you get a thrill from having to take passageways to avoid the audience whilst in your costume. Then the audience takes their seats while you're waiting backstage and its getting really tense. I'm really hyped up at this stage. Everything is twice as funny as it should be. Then the nerves hit in. This is my last stage. I start shaking and biting my lip and I can do nothing but sit and stand and pace a bit. There's no point talking to me at this stage, I'm too terrified.

Then the lights go down and the audience goes quiet. We stand, getting ready for our first scene. We're all silent, contained by our fear. Then we step out onto the stage and take our opening positions. The lights come up and its like they've scared the nerves away. Suddenly I'm fine again. Nobody's watching me. I can't see any faces because of the light and so its like its just another rehersal.

The scene ends and we go back stage. Everyone's happy, everyone's smiling. We giggle like little children, making stupid jokes whilst we're meant to be deadly silent. Eveything is so much more funny when you're not allowed to laugh.

But the best rush comes at the end, when you've performed your final scene and you step forward with the rest of the cast to take a bow. Let me tell you that there is no better feeling than watching the whole audience stand in unison as they applaude.

And that's my rush. It feels great, and that's why I love doing it.

Day 13: Best change to the place I live in

2009-12-13T21:34:00.001Z

What's the best change you made to the place you live?

I haven't really made that many changes to my house this year. Probably the biggest change was to my brother's bedroom (actually is was quite a big change).

It was quite funny really. It was during the summer holidays and I had been out all day. I came back to find my two brothers and my dad in my brother's room with his loft bed (its like a bunk bed but without the lower bunk) on its side, completely filling the room, and standing over it with a saw. Naturally my first reaction was 'What the hell are you doing?'. Turns out my brother was fed up with his room and wanted to change it, starting with sawing the legs of his loft bed to make it a normal bed. Except instead of sawing them down so that the bed stand a normal height of the ground he completely got rid of the legs so now the bed is completely on the floor. Its actually quite nice to sleep in.

The second thing he did was throw away anything that he no longer wanted, and believe me he threw away a lot, the completely get rid of most of his shelves to 'create more wall space'. He's now covered the wall with posters and concert tickets. He said to me only a few days ago that he regretted getting rid of his shelves because now he has no where to put anything.

But now I've realised that his room's nicer to be in than mine, so I feel kind of jealous. Except for the fact that mines a hell of a lot cleaner. For now.

Day 12: Best New Food

2009-12-12T21:18:00.001Z

New food. You're now in love with Lebanese food and you didn't even know what it was in January of this year.

I don't really know about this one. I haven't really tried many new foods this year (save for Sushi and that gave me food poisoning so its definately not getting my 'best' title!).

Oh! I've got it! When I went to Ireland at the beginning of September (see my Day 1 post for copious details) we went to a 'typical Irish pub' and had a 'typical Irish lunch'. That was the best fucking lunch I have ever had in my entire fucking life!

What is consisted of was delicious, juicy pork with an apple sauce, a fresh salad and no less that three types of potatoe. There was some exquisite mash mixed with herbs, thick chips that still had the skins on (that tastes good, by the way, plus it gives you ruffage) and bolied potatoe that was so fucking good! There was also something mixed in with the salad that looked like bits of potatoe cut into cubes but wasn't. I don't know what it was, I think some sort of vegetable, but it was nice.

(I apologise for the swearing if it offends but there's no other way to do it justice. I swear a lot, by the way, I've just restrained form doing so thus far.)

So that was my wonderful meal. Gotta love the Irish.

Day 11: Best Place

2009-12-11T20:50:00.003Z

The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

Well, my first thought goes to my house and in that house my bedroom but although that is a wonderful place to be and can think of others that, while they might not be better, are just as good. And one of those places, perhaps my favourite, is the Art studio at my high school.

My school used to be a palace, you see, and so we still have the old building, even if its been refirbished and restored. The Art room is in what used to be the palace, though you wouldn't know it if you went inside, its quite a modern classroom. But because of that, and the fact that its on the ground floor and has little round windows, it makes you feel like you've stepped into some sort of cave. The place is covered in artwork, of course, and there are quotes painted onto the walls about art and teaching. But the thing I like best about it is the teachers. My Art teacher is probably one of the nicest teachers I have, mainly because we can connect with her. She let's us call her by her first name and we're always messing around and making jokes.

So that's my 'Best Place'. My little refuge that I escape to after school while I'm waiting for my brother to finish (he's on a different squedule and has an extra 45 minutes of class).

Day 10: Best Album of the Year

2009-12-10T20:36:00.001Z

Album of the year. What's rocking your world?

Wow. This is a tough one. Mainly because I don't really keep up with new albums and stuff. I just find what I like and listen to it. But I probably have to say This is War by 30 Seconds to Mars.

I was introduced to them by my brother and now I love them. And this new album, in my opinion, is amazing! (Even the bit with Kanye West singing 'heartbeat, I need a heartbeat' which is a little random)

Listen to it. Unless you don't like them. Then don't.

Day 9: Best Challenge

2009-12-09T20:36:00.002Z

Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

I think this would probably be my self portrait in the style of Francis Bacon that I had to do for my Art coursework. I found it so difficult to start out and for ages I was standing in front of a relatively blank canvas with no idea what to do. Somehow I managed to turn it around. I worked tirelessly for weeks, going in after school to paint, repaint, step back and analyse... it was endless. I kept staring at his painting thinking 'How the hell does he do that?'. The thing about Francis Bacon is that he hated the way he looked. He despised his face and he despised the way he painted. He wanted to be a realist, but he could never make it work. So he dostorted the paintings, dragging the paint across the canvas and he managed to make these wierd fluid sweeps of paint that I just couldn't replicate. But somehow I found my own way of doing it and eventually I managed to finish it, as much as any painting can ever be finished. But I'm happy with it and that's all that matters.

Day 8: Best Moment of Peace

2009-12-08T18:47:00.001Z

Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

Surprisingly this probably came when I was ill about two/three weeks ago. I felt so wretched I had to stay in bed the whole time and when I wasn't sleeping I found I was surprisingly peaceful. I'm definately not a person who finds it difficult to sit and do nothing, my thought can occupy me a lot longer than anyone I know, but this was different. I found I wasn't thinking of anything, just listening to my breath, it was a surreal experience. It was kind of ruined, however, by me falling asleep. Oh well, life's not perfect.

Day 7: Best Blog find of the year

2009-12-07T18:33:00.001Z

Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can't believe you didn't know about until this year.

I don't really read that many blogs. There was one, however, that I loved. Unfortunately it seems he has abandoned his blog due to lack of response. Doesn't matter, it can still be my 'Best Blog'.

If you want to take a look, here's the link: The Couch Preacher. Its basically a video game blog by someone who goes by the name of PrtyJedi and lives up in Finland (that's the only personal information he gives). He has a refreshingly eloquent way of writing and if you're into video games (like I am) some interesting ideas and points of view. Maybe if more people post comments he'll take a look and be inspired once more (so far I'm the only person whose commented and that was only after he decided to stop. I feel guilty.)

Personal side note: my hands are freezing, I hate this weather, I can hardly type, why is it so goddamn cold?! Just thought you'd like to know that.

Day 6: Best Workshop or Conference

2009-12-06T18:10:00.002Z

Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

Before I start I must inform you that every post from this one to the 10th (inclusive) is being written after it was meant to due to me being in Berlin on a history trip from the 6th to the 10th. However, to avoid confusion in my blog I'll set the publish date for the date it was meant to be published on, that means they'll go in the right order.

Well, I don't really know if this is really what today's post is getting at, but its the closest I've got since I've never actually attended a workshop/conference on account of still being in high school and not having a job.

So about a month back the Drama class in the year above (my brother's class as it happens) went to see an Indonesian shadow puppet show and my Drama teacher, after much negotiation at the embassy, managed to get two of the dalangs (the puppeteers) to come to our school and give us (my Drama class and the one in the year above) a workshop.

The two men who came to speak to us were both masters at their craft and showed us the different processes that the puppets go through as they are being made as well as giving us several demonstrations on how to manipulate the puppets and what sort of personalities each one has. The stories are based on local mythology and the puppets are characters from those stories. Each puppet has a different personality and with that personality comes a different way of talking, walking and acting. When they were demonstrating most of us just sat there with our mouths open, they were so amazing at manipulating the limbs and making the puppets look like they were walking.

A hell of a lot of work goes into becoming a good dalang. They have to be so disciplined. The visitors (I've forgotten their names because they were kind of complicated and for that I apologise. They didn't speak English either, we had a translator who was a really nice guy actually) told us that they often went for hours without food because the performances could last for ages and although there were various breaks for the audience (or they just left during a boring bit and came back later) the dalangs weren't allowed to eat or drink during the performance. They also had to sit cross-legged for hours on end whilst the manipulated the puppets and kept time for the gamelan (the band that accompanied them) by tapping their foot.

If you want to know more about it I found a good website: Wayang Kulit

Day 5: Best Night Out

2009-12-05T18:14:00.002Z

Night out. Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?

This had to be, without a doubt, my friend's surprise 16th birthday party in October. For one thing her house is positively amazing. It's hidden up in what are called the Sintra Hills (known for their constant cloud coverage, but luckly that night was nice) and although the house isn't really huge it's still big and on top of that really beautiful. Its got a real traditional Portuguese feel about it (For anybody who didn't know, I live in Portugal) and her garden is beond amazing.

Anyway, back to the point before I die of jealousy. I don't really know what made that night so great. It might have been the fact that my brother and his friends were literally chain drinking the beers even though they tasted distgusting (I go to a private school, 'sweet sixteens' with vodka and all night raves don't exist in my world) or it might have been the fact that my best friend managed to get 'high' despite only drinking water the whole night (she's 'responsible' and doesn't like alcohol. Apparently.) I also distinctly remember me and two of my friends being the only ones dancing to the terrible music the DJ was playing. We felt sorry for him, he looked so forlorn when no one danced. Its not like we were dancing seriously; we spent the night imitating Austin Powers.

But whatever it was, that was a fun night. Plus the look on my friends face when we all yelled surprise was priceless. She has very amusing facial expressions.

Day 4: Best Book

2009-12-04T17:40:00.002Z

Book. What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

I've been waiting for this one. Something you must know about me is that I love reading. I adore it. Can't get enough of it. And although I get looked down upon my friends what I like reading most is fantasy. Anything to do with Sci-Fi or magic or people with swords saving the world is right up my street. Hell, I've read the Old Kingdom trilogy about five times!

It is strange then that for the 'Best Book' of 2009 I chose not a fantasy novel but a book called 'I am Rembrandt's Daughter' by Lynn Cullen. This is, as the title implies, the story of Cornelia, daughter of the famous painter Rembrandt van Rijn and what I like most about it is how much it is based on fact. Rembrandt did have a daughter named Cornelia (his third daughter of this name, the other two died soon after birth) as well as a son called Titus. For some reason I find it very satisfying that this fictional novel is as much a factual account of Rembrandt and his daughter's lives as it is a story. I got completely engrossed in it and literally couldn't put it down.

Although this is only meant to be for one 'Best Book' I have to mention that I also read 'The Princess Bride' by William Goldman (my second favourite book of this year) and completely fell for the joke it plays on the unsuspecting reader. I won't say what the joke is in case someone wants to read it but I felt such a fool when I found out that I was wrong.

Day 3: Best Article

2009-12-03T17:24:00.002Z

Article. What's an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious'd and reference throughout the year.

So I had to think hard about this one. At first I thought I wasn't going ot be able to find anything, then I remembered an article I found once when I was surfing Google (as you do) about bananas. It was, on the whole, a rather interesting article, very informative and I learned a lot from it. The reason I'm dubbing it the 'Best Article', however, is because it was essentially about, what for it, banana sex.

If you want to read it, here's the link: The Unfortunate Sex Life of the Banana

It just made me laugh.

Day 2: Best Restaurant Moment

2009-12-02T16:04:00.002Z

Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

I'm not sure about this one. At least I know it won't be as rediculously long as my last entry. You see, I don't really go to that many restaurants, I generally stay in and cook or order a take-out (there's a very nice Indian place near me that does take aways).

Actually, now I think of it probably my best trip to a restaurant was to the aformentioned Indian place, a very tiny restaurant called 'Restaurant Taj'. I went there at the end of June with my friends as a sort of end of school celebration as well as a way to say goodbye to a few people who were leaving. There wasn't many of us, just me and about five others, but we still seemed to make the tiny place seem crowded. I don't remember anything specific about the evening, except for my discovery that my ears hurt like hell when I eat really spicy food, but I do remember that there were some vindaloo challenges issued (and accepted), though thankfully not to me. One of my best friends, who sadly has now left us to move back to Australia, has the highest 'hot food' threshold of anyone I know and naturally we set ourselves the task of finding out just how much vindaloo she could eat before bursting into flames. The yogurt went down quickly that night.

Going to restaurants with friends is always a fun experience, especially when you forget all sense of etiquette.

Day 1: Best Trip

2009-12-01T15:54:00.003Z

Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?

Here's my first entry for the December Challenge. Best Trip.

Being in high school I guess I get more holiday than most people due to half term, Christmas holidays, Summer holidays ect. but I don't really go anywhere during them. I generally sit at home and procrastinate. During this year I've only 'gone on holiday' once, during the summer when I spent three weeks in England visiting family and friends. But that's not what I'm going to talk about.

No, what I've decided to give the grand title of 'Best Trip of 2009' is my school trip to Dublin, Ireland with my Drama class that took place at the beginning of September (only a week into the the new school year).

What you must understand about my Drama class is that we are all completely crazy. Whether it be unashamed flirts, political fanatics or borderline psycotics, whe have it in my Drama class. So going on a trip with eight other mad teenagers as well as two teachers who are probably more crazy than the students was always going to be fun.

We went to Dublin because it was the location of this years Fringe Festival, a Theatre 'Festival' of sorts (I say of sorts because its not like we're all in big field surrounded by tents) that aims to promote the wierd and unconventional side of theatre as opposed to the glitzy commercial shows we're all used to seeing in the West End and on Broadway (depending where you are situated on the globe). And I must say some of what we saw over the four day period was most definately wierd and unconvetional.

The two shows that stand out for me most were two very different pieces. One was a performance called Red Lola that took place in a makeshift theatre in what seemed to be a garage in a very dodgy looking part of town. The play was about a young girl in high school who falls in love with a businessman she meets at the bus stop and consisted only of one setting, the aforementioned bus stop, and those two characters. The things I liked best about it was the lack of distinct speech, they generally made Mr. Bean like noises interspersed with the occasional word so we knew what the hell they were on about, the white masks they wore and that fact that the whole play was done backwards.

Now when I say backwards I don't mean that they were talking backwards or the story progressed from end to beginning. No, not time backwards but literally backwards. They stood with their backs to the audience and the masks on the back of their heads. Their clothes were on backwards and everything they did had to be the opposite (for example if one wanted to look at the other on their right they would have to turn their head left so the the mask would look right). The creepiest bit was when the sat down (which, again was backwards) so they were bending their torsos in completely the wrong direction. It was most definately weird but very, very interesting.

The other 'play' I liked was something called Die Roten Punkte (which is German for The Red Dots). I say 'play' because it really wasn't a play. It was more of a musical concert slash comedy act. It was meant to be a parody of the band The White Stripes (hence the name) and consisted of a brother and sister (who I doubt were actually brother and sitser) who played some actually quite good music as well as did some hilarious, occasionally slapstick comedy (that was passed off as stage antics). If you want to here their music look them up on YouTube. I can tell you, that performance has got me and my friends 'Rock Bang' ing for the rest of our lives.

^ Die Roten Punkte

So that was my trip. Four days of wierd plays interspersed with a stupid amount of shopping and the hilarity of my Drama teacher. It was fun.

See you tomorrow! (I promise I'll keep it shorter than this next time)

And so it begins...

2009-12-01T15:29:00.003Z

I've never tried writing a blog before so I thought I'd give it a go. I'll probably post for a few weeks then forget all about it but what the hell, it doesn't hurt to try. So I initially got the idea because I saw something on someone else's blog called The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge, which is the reason this will probably last through December is not any further. If you're curious take a look at the page I linked to (I hope the link works. I'm doing this on a computer at school at the moment and the URL doesn't work here, but it works at home.)

So here goes. Please don't hurt me when it all goes horribly wrong.