Farewell blogger. It was fun while it lasted.

This is goodbye. No, don't try to stop me. I have to do this. It would be easier if you didn't say anything. The fact is, it's over. I'm leaving you. The truth? You want the truth? Okay, but the truth hurts. The truth is... I've met someone else. His name's tumblr and he gives me things you just can't give to me. No, don't cry. This was never meant to be. You'll meet someone else, who has more time to write proper posts and isn't as fickle. Believe me this is the best way. Farewell, blogger my love. I never wanted it to end like this.

(Yeah, I've moved to tumblr. Sooo, if anyone still cares about this, which is unlikely, I'll be there. Talking to more invisible people- http://borderlandsofsanity.tumblr.com/)

Excuses and info

The fictional people who read this blog may have noticed that I haven't posted any of my drawings thus far. I would say that it's because my scanner's broken or something like that, but that would be a lie. It's because I'm lazy. The scanner is all the way down stairs in my borthers room and as of yet I haven't found the energy to bring it upstairs. Yes, I'm probably the laziest person on earth. But I've also been quite busy over the past week; it seems as soon as I decided to join the indieVISUAL ranks then a bunch of old friends and aquaintences popped up and I was going out every evening. So apart from being lazy I only just managed to find the time to do the drawing let alone scan them using my impossibly slow and old scanner and upload them onto the blog, and possibly write a little post to go with them. I'll try and get that done later today, as I won't have time in the next few days, which brings me nicely onto my next point.

I'm going to England in a few days and even though I'm taking my sketchbook and I'll try to carry on with my drawings, I won't be able to upload till I come back. I might still do some post from England as most of the various people I'm staying with have computers.

Since I'm pretty sure that nobody reads this blog (even though I have two followers) it feels kind of wierd writing as though I'm talking to someone. But I figure if noone's reading this then no harm done and if someone is reading it them I'm talking to you.

A new direction

So it's been rougly two months since I've posted anything on here, and whilst most of that hiatus was due to my all important ICGSE exams (which are now over and don't have to think about them until August 24th, when I get my results), it was also dure to my lack of inspiration and ideas. For a while now I've been running low on things to post about and today I decided to start up blogging once more, even if it's not anything to big. And in order to get round the blogger's block I've been having I decided to start the indieVISUAL Journal Challenge and I might even do the Sum Up My Summer challenge, even though I've missed the start by a month (info on that can be found on the same page).

So yeah, this is what I'm gonna do. Draw once a day, every day for an entire year, from July 5th 2010 to July 5th 2011. Pretty daunting.

Right, singing off now cos I have some things to do. My first entry will be up later.

Two very long journeys...

Well, would you look at that! It's Friday and I'm making a blog post! I never thought I would ever be early. I know I haven't posted anything in a while but that's down to the exams I've been doing in the last two weeks. The depressing part is I've only done five exams and I've still got so many to do!

To tell the truth I haven't been motivated to write anything for a while now, even before the exams, but today I was reading The Couch Preacher (he's awesome, go check him out. I think I've said this twice already, but it bears saying one more time) and I got inspired to write about some video games, two video games in particular. So here are two of my favourite games. Enjoy.

Morrowind

I think I've probably mentioned before how much I love Morrowind, but what the hell, I'll say it again. I love Morrowind. Yes, there are problems with it; the combat system is, frankly, rather crap and the dialogue system means reading through swathes of text, which can get a little tedious (although at least it rules out crappy voice acting, *cough* Oblvion *cough*). The graphics certainly aren't what you would call cutting-edge, though considering the game was released in 2002 it's churlish of me to complain about that aspect (and a small dosage of graphics mods, if you're using the PC version, would soon clear up that alement). But all in all, I found it a very enjoyable game (I guess it would be important, for the sake of fairness, to point out that Morrowind was the game that really got me into gaming as a whole and so a certain amount of nostalgia comes with it.)

I found the storyline interesting and compelling and although the characters did come across as a little generic sometimes I always managed to find a personaltiy, though that could be down to my overactive imagination. I guess, considering that I haven't played the game is quite a while, this is more based on my fond memories but I never said that this was a review, it's only the reasons why I like the game.

What always astonishes me most about is the amount of backstory you find if you dig deep enough. Recently I've been feeling bad that there are so many books and papers adn information in the game and I never really read anything that wasn't directly necessary.

Anyway, I don't want thig to get too long, because I have to talk about my other game as well, so I'll just sum up by saying, once again, that I love Morrowind.

The Longest Journey

Now, at first I wasn't convinced by this. Sure it looked interesting enough but point-and-click didn't really do it for me (Monkey Island being excluded from that, obviously). How could I have been so wrong?

TLJ is a masterpiece. Seriously. If you haven't played this game then play it (unless of course you have to have guns and explosions to keep you interested for more than five minutes then don't bother, you'll hate it). The characters are wonderful, the story is amazing and the humour is, well, humourous. I guarantee that you'll laugh at least once whlilst playing it (especially once you meet a certain Burns Flipper, but I won't give too much away). If you do only laugh once (or not at all) then you've probably got something wrong with your sense of humour (but who am I to judge).

It's hard to talk about this game without giving anything away, because I certainly don't want to ruin it for anyone. It can get difficult at times and I got a little frustrated at points (though it was generally down to me being dense) but from what I found there's nothing so difficult that it ruins the experience. It's kind of a trait of point-and-click games that there are some wierd solutions to puzzles, you've just got to think outside the box at some points.

The dialogue is brilliant, there are definately some memoriable quotes in there, and the voice acting is really well done. To tell the truth, there's not much I can say against his game.

Here's the trailer if you want ot see it: ftp://ftp.funcom.com/media/tlj/tlj_360x288_hq_en.mov

So, just go check it out. Adn it you do want to play it here's some advice; pick up and interact with anything possible, because you never know what you might need.

So, bye for now. Hope you have a good weekend.



I really must stop using to many brackets...

A little update

I light of the exams that are looming in my near future, I have to admit that finding something to talk about, and finding the time to talk about it, if getting much harder (thus the reasn for the lack of post last week). So I've decided that until my exams are over, near the end of June, I'm not going to bother trying to stick to my schedule. If I find something to write about and I want to write about it, I will, but if Saturday rolls around (as it has done this week and last week) and I find myself lacking the inspiration, time or motivating I'll just leave it.

That's basically it for today, so I may or may not be back next week.

Working, Resting, Playing, Procrastinating

So it's Saturday once again, and normally I would be plesed because Saturday's are awesome (especially since Doctor Who started again, and it was awesome today) but this Saturday marks the pending end of my holidays. Yes, I have to go back to school on Monday, and that means only three weeks left until my GCSE exams. The thought is terrifying and I don't want to think about it much.

Before I forget I would like to mention something that has given me great pleasure. If you were reading my blog back in December when I was doing the challenge you may recall me telling you about The Couch Preacher but also saying that he was on hiatus, indefinately. Well, he's back! Which is pretty awesome, because he's a great blogger if you like video games. So go check him out, and if you like him leave him a few comments as I'm the only person whose ever commented on his blog and I believe his lack of comments is partly the reason he left in the first place.

So, as I'm currently stumped for interesting ideas I've decided to share with you my Art project, that will end in a 10 hour exam. Bliss. (So much for not thinking about exams).

Our title is Work, Rest, Play. Not the best title they could have given us but not bad considering the circumstances. Exam boards have never been the best at coming up with stimulating stimuli (you should see our Drama ones, though we a did a pretty good job with those I must say). Anyway, after a lot of faffing about and wasting time and complaining that I didn't have any ideas I finally struck upon one. Unlike others in my class, who seem to come up with things gradually, I generally get a picture in my head of what I want it to look like and say, 'I'm doing that' without any build up. It's rare that the final product actually looks like the picture in my head but it's a good starting point.

My sudden idea for this was as follows: instead of doing something that encompassed Work, Rest and Play (or one of the three elements) I would create three characters that were the embodiment of each concept. I got rather excited when I got this idea as I thought it rather interesting, but I then realised I would have to come up with the characters.

I've got Work so far, and I'm already contemplating Rest and Play. Work came about as I was doing an intial 'ideas' page on it, where I just collected images that I thought related to it. Most of them were of manual labour, as that is what springs to my mind immediatly, but I did put in a few of clockwork. It was then that I got the idea of Steampunk. Now, explaining the concept of Steampunk to my art teacher, who, being Portuguese, had no idea what the hell I was going on about, was rather complicated, but she trusted me not to mess everything up. So after a few pages of required research, looking at a few artists (namely Naum Gabo and Rebbeca Horn, the former doing awesome sculptures and the latter doing freaky body modification among other things) I started designing my character. I decided upon a human who had been turned Steampunk, if you will, for various reasons that sound very arty and sophisticated (but mainly because it looks awesome). But anyway, here's what I came up with (which I'm pretty proud of). It's not complete yet, but it's basically almost there:

(I apologise for the crappy photograph and the absolutely diabolical lighting. The paper is actually white)

Anyway, I know I'm far from the best drawer in the world but I quite like my Work character. What do you guys think? Is there anything I could chage, improve ect? I'm thinking of putting some designs on the head and shoulders, nothing major, just to add intricacy.

So, good night for now (unless you not in a place where it's night, and if so good day).

Embracing Darkness

Second story. Oh and Happy Easter, may your day be sunny and chocolate-filled!

Oh, should have mentioned this when I first posted it. This is technically a piece of FanFiction for TES III: Morrowind (written after playing said game and in a particularly geeky moment) but you don't actually have to have played to game or have to know anything about it to understad this as I have only mentioned elements from the game twice, and they're not that important.

The pain was unbelievable.

I had never imagined anything could hurt such as this hurt, anything could tear into my soul as well as my flesh. I felt his fangs in my neck, the blood rushing from my body, the strange movements of his mouth as he swallowed, again and again. My blood, my life force. That was the worst part of all. The pain I could bear, my soul I could ignore but my blood, my pure, vital blood. As it slipped away from me I felt something that could never be described. Something no one should ever feel.

My heart weakened and I could feel every beat as though it were a great earthquake within my chest. Slower, slower until it was so faint that I almost missed the beats when they came. Just take me, I thought, pleading with him in my mind because I knew my mouth could not, would not respond. Take me and be done! Kill me, let me rest. Let it stop…

I had never given much thought on how I would die. Least of all, I had never thought I would want to die. But now as I lay in his cold arms, my fragile body broken from a fight I knew I couldn’t win I longed for death to come if only to stop the pain, the loss, the pure anguish.

No!

I felt his lips leave my skin; his fangs withdraw from my flesh. I wanted to cry out, to scream at him. Why wouldn’t he kill me? Why, when I needed it so much? But then I felt myself slip into darkness, fall willingly into the clutches of eternal rest…

But something was wrong, terribly, horribly wrong. It was not darkness; it was light, blinding light! It burned at my skin, my eyes; it tore at my punctured heart and my ripped soul. I could not bear it! This was worse than anything I had ever felt, worse than my life force being drawn out of me, worse than the cool prospect of death.

The light seemed eternal, I writhed within in for what felt like years, decades. I curled myself into a ball, I clawed at my face, my eyes, I shrieked and shrieked but it would not go. Finally I closed my eyes against the onslaught, huddling in a corner of my mind, trying to ignore that throb of my aching body and the burning of the terrible light. After a million years I awoke.

I was alone and this made me nervous. Where was he? Was he playing with me? What was he going to do? My wounds seemed less painful, and when I raised a shaking hand to my neck I found they had gone altogether. I frowned. Had he healed me? Was he keeping me as some slave for his hunger?

I had to get out and that was my only chance. I stood shakily, looking around. The room was exactly as it had been before; elegant furnishings and large bookcases filling the walls and floor space. At the far end was a huge oak door, half ajar, and beyond that was a dimly lit corridor. I remembered creeping slowly down that corridor the night before. Had it been the night before? How long had I been asleep?

But that was of no consequence, I just had to get out. I moved towards the door, half expecting it to open fully with him standing on the other side, his fangs ready to sink once more into my flesh. But he did not come. I crept down the corridor, barely making a sound.

Before I knew it I was out, standing in the cool night air. Free of the crowding darkness of his home, free of the stench of blood. I did not hesitate. I began to run, my feet propelling me forward, not caring in which direction they took me. I just had to get away from the darkness of the house I had just left. I ran for hours, only stopping to catch my breath before I continued, thighs burning, lungs searing, blood repeatedly making its way up my throat only to be spat out.

As dawn broke I found a town. I did not know which one it was and I did not care. All I wanted to do was get inside, to curl up and forget what had happened. The sun rose quickly over the hills. It was hotter that it should have been. It was only early spring, so why was the sun so burning? Why did it sear at my pale skin, boring into my eyeballs.

I stumbled into the town, clawing at my arms in an attempt to rid myself of the sun’s torment. Eyes watched me, people muttered, once a man even approached. “Are you alright, Sera?” he asked, his red eyes full of concern. I simply reeled away from him, escaping into the darkness of an alleyway, thankfully devoid of sunlight.

I sank to the ground, pressing myself to the wall at the back of the alley. Drawing my knees up to my chin, I buried my face in the hollow they created, protecting myself from the onslaught of the world- what was happening to me? My insides felt like they were burning up, twisting and writhing as if a thousand snakes had somehow crawled inside them.

I stayed in that alley throughout the day only moving when midday came and the sun permeated my space of darkness, but then I only moved further into the corner, trying to stay as far away from the sun as possible. I could feel its heat just inches from me and it made the snakes inside my rear up in fear.

When darkness came I ventured out, my throat burning. I found a fountain and drank deeply, trying to quench my thirst. But for some reason the fire in my throat would not completely die. There was something else I need, though what I did not know. I drank deeper, more and more water until I could not stop it from forcing itself back up my throat and spattering across the cobblestones. I fled, returning to my alley where I curled up and willed for sleep to come.

Eventually it did. I slept for a very long time, waking just in time to see the sun setting over the hills. It was beautiful. Some otherworldly power took control of me, guiding me to my feet and out of my protective cocoon, out into the open where I watched as the last rays of light disappeared behind the hills, sending wonderful colours shooting into the sky. It was the perfect finale.

If I had only known then that for me the curtain would never rise once more.

I stood for a long time in the darkness, remembering all the sunsets I had ever watched. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, though why I did not know. Why should a sunset make me feel sad? Then it happened, the first bolt of pain jolting through my stomach. The snakes were biting me, again and again. I cried out, doubling over in agony. Blackness started to creep into the corners of my vision. I had to run, and I knew exactly where I had to go. It was the last place I thought I would ever go again.

“So you have returned to me,” he said, emerging through the large double doors of his home, the moonlight reflecting off his perfect hair. I said nothing because it that moment the blackness that had threatened me during my journey won the battle and I collapsed, registering vaguely that he caught me before I hit the ground.

My eyes flickered open and there he was, standing above me. “You finally awake. Three days can feel light an eternity in the light can it not? I should know.”

His features, fine boned and horribly beautiful, were blank. There was no anger, or joy, no expression at all. But it was not the face I had seen before. This face was different. It was sharper, more focused. I could see a tiny scar on his forehead that I had noticed previously, even when I had watched him from the darkness.

The air seemed warmer around me, even though I recalled it had been deadly cold before. I wondered why. Then I realised. I lifted a hand to my mouth and felt tentatively at my teeth. My hand shot back my heart raced faster, faster. Fear boiled within me and I felt myself shaking worse than ever. A small smile crossed his lips at my reaction.

I was a vampire, a night-stalker, doomed to walk the shadows for eternity, doomed to long for the blood of others… Blood…

As soon as that thought entered my mind it would not leave it, consuming everything I had been thinking before.

Blood, rich, dark, red, blood.

I felt saliva fill my mouth and I swallowed, my stomach twisting with hunger. He held a hand out towards me but I ignored him, springing to my feet with such agility I almost stumbled.

“Go,” he whispered and I was gone.

I raced through the night, faster than I could have ever believed. I tore out of the dreadful tomb, sprinting wildly through the Ashlands. I let my senses guide me, not even blinking my bloodshot, white eyes as animals that would have once attacked me fled at the sight of the creature I had become.

One didn’t flee and I lunged at it, vaguely registering that is was a nixhound. But its skin was tough and its blood sour. It was not what I wanted and I flung it from me, killing it with a single swipe of my delicate female hand. I ran on, chasing down the scent drifting on the almost nonexistent breeze.

Then I found him, a young Breton crouched by a campfire. My vision homed in on him, nothing else existed save for that gentle pulse below his jaw. He looked up as I moved into the firelight.

“Sera?” he asked, a tremor of fear in his voice.

I pounced. He didn’t even have time to flinch as my teeth sank easily into his soft flesh. The blood poured into my mouth. Sweet, pure, innocent. The most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. It was laced with his magic, almost like seasoning. This was what I was made for. All those dreams I had, all those plans disappeared as I tasted his warm, beautiful blood. This was what I was meant to do.

As the tangy, copper liquid flowed easily down my throat I closed my eyes, embracing the darkness of my soul.